..He heals all our diseases... PLEASE LORD...

spend some time last night listening to some old music my parents used to listen to when we were kids, and crying...
pleading... telling my Lord that I DO NOT WANT to have to go there and for Him to miraculously let those spots on my mother's lung be harmless...

I hate the fact that we need to face death... I know I have such a hard time with this because we were made in the image of God, eternal beings, never to die...

and then sin came, and the heartache that comes with it......
I caught myself thinking that I really only have had a little while since I have been fully over losing my marriage.. and that I just couldn't face something that HUGE as losing my mother...

this is me listening to horribly depressing music and just going where my feelings are prone to go...

then I decided not to stay there... but rather focus on

1. we do not have the results yet
2. God is a God of miracles
3. heartache is part of this life but God is bigger
4. He loves my mother... and He can do a miracle and break through her hardened heart, and make her His
5. He brings blessing out of bad things for those that love Him
6. He will be there in the midst of it all
7. He gives us strength to deal with difficult and heart wrenching things
8. it is all about Him anyways

Praise the Lord, O my soul;

    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

 Praise the Lord, O my soul,

    and forget not all his benefits—

 who forgives all your sins

    and heals all your diseases,

 who redeems your life from the pit

    and crowns you with love and compassion,

 who satisfies your desires with good things

    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103: 1-5

This is my God, to whom I look in times of despair:

I am God, and there is no other;

    I am God, and there is none like me.

 I make known the end from the beginning,

    from ancient times, what is still to come.

I say: My purpose will stand,

    and I will do all that I please. 

Isaiah 46: 9+10

and lastly..... this is what Jesus said:

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

so what I did last night, I chose to listen to my "MWS Carnegie Hall" Playlist and crawled up on my Father's lap.. snuggled right into His arms, put my head right below His shoulder and listened to His heartbeat...