.. reflecting.. a trip to Switzerland....

back home, I am sitting on my beautiful couch... my puppies nicely snuggled up to me...it's freezing outside and my furnace is keeping us warm.. finally caught the cold my daughter had last week while we were visiting her.. oh well..




reflecting on the week away I am so thankful..
so thankful I could visit my child and be there for her while she had a bad cold..
thankful she wanted me to meet all her new friends and for seeing her having fun AND being wise and mature..
thankful to be there with my parents, taking them to Dr's appointments, doing errands for them and filling the freezer with some easy to warm up meals...


thankful for this man that came with me knowing that this trip was not about us..
thankful for him being selfless and just trying to be there for me..
thankful for his help and willingness to sacrifice our time together to help out my Dad in a big way..

thankful for the time we had to have a little bit of vacation time after all, skiing one day, a nice walk on another...

thankful now for being inside, while he is out there picking up some stuff to help me with things in my home.. what a guy.... <3

thankful to God for all this.
thankful that He holds everything that is going on, near and far, in His more than capable hands.. new situations, just erupting now, old ones that just don't seem to change..

thankful that in knowing Him we have all we need for life and godliness..
He gives wisdom generously and without finding fault,
He heals the brokenhearted and He restores what the enemy has been busy destroying..
the waves are crashing all around us right now, but He is our rock and our salvation, if He is for us, who can be against us.. what can mere man do to us..
we can trust and don't need to be afraid because He commands His angels concerning us to guard us in all our ways..
as we abide in Him He WILL restore the years the locusts have eaten..

oh, what a friend we have in Jesus.. this never gets old.

it's all about Him !

......My Lighthouse..navigating new and unchartered waters...

lately I have been feeling like a little boat...  I kind of like to think of myself as a cute little one..
I  think I am little chipped... obviously there is some wear and tear... I still think I am colourful, still functioning... but maybe I sound a little creaky at times..

lately I, the little boat,  ( maybe the blue one) ...   have found navigating the waters has been a little harder than other times...

makes me think of the little train... the little train Miriam, that was going along that well laid out track, not a happy one necessarily, but one the train was very well acquainted with... sometimes through deserts.. sometimes through really rough terrain...
once in a while the track even went through a beautiful quiet meadow... just to be thrown high up into the air by something unforeseen... there was deep pain and that little train got really scared.. after all, there were now no more well known tracks but uncertainty... the little train had been broken into many pieces.. it needed to be restored and fixed... it needed attention from the manufacturer....

today... ( somehow the train has turned into a boat, and don't ask me how.... ) this little well worn boat  is trying to navigate new waters... aging parents, all kinds of family fallout, children grown up and traveling along on their own journey... new relationships and old ones...

one thing this little boat has learned... there is just no way to navigate through all these different ever changing waters without something to light the way..

my love for lighthouses is something that goes far beyond my love of the sea and that they just look so beautiful... there is so much more to it than that...

I, the little boat Miriam, I am making sure my eyes are ever fixed on my lighthouse..
my lighthouse is not a building... but a light He for sure is...
my lighthouse is my only hope in the darkness, my only fixed and stable beacon... no matter the storms that arise... sometimes out of nowhere..

He, my lighthouse knows the beginning from the end.. I have NO idea...
He, my lighthouse is light.. there is NO darkness where He is...
He, my lighthouse stands firm, He never wavers, so that no matter  the storms I can be safe... oh how I love Him ...

In my wrestling and in my doubts

In my failures You won't walk out

Your great love will lead me through

You are the peace in my troubled sea

You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won't let go

In my questions, Your truth will hold

Your great love will lead me through

You are the peace in my troubled sea

You are the peace in my troubled sea

My Lighthouse, my lighthouse

Shining in the darkness, I will follow You

My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse

I will trust the promise, 

You will carry me safe to shore 

Safe to shore 

Safe to shore 

Safe to shore

I won't fear what tomorrow brings

With each morning I'll rise and sing

My God's love will lead me through

You are the peace in my troubled sea

You are the peace in my troubled sea

Fire before us, You're the brightest

You will lead us through the storms

one day, over 20 years ago... I first saw the light... my lighthouse... He had opened my eyes and I could finally see Him... I am thankful for that each and every day....  AMEN

.. an unreasonable conceit of one's superiority....

Pride is at the root of all sin..

this is what the Webster's Dictionary from 1828 says:

inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others.

treating others with contempt.
thinking oneself knows better than anyone else.
it leads to disrespect.
it leads to lies.
a critical spirit.
anger.

it destroys relationships.

the interesting thing is that insecurity can very well be present at the same time.. kind of makes no sense but I believe it's true

this is what my favourite book says about it:

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. 2 Chronicles 26:16

Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord! Psalm 31:23-24

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

For the wicked boasts of the desires of his soul, and the one greedy for gain curses and renounces the Lord. In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”
Psalm 10:3-4

and on and on it goes.

have come to see that pride / lack of respect is at the bottom of all the dysfunction I see around me.
praying that the merciful and gracious God I love so much will continue to change my heart, strip away any pride that remains, and instead lets me focus on this:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,  who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,  but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2 : 3-8

the amazing part is that once we meet Jesus we start to understand just how much He loves us,  there is no longer a need to make sure to be the center of attention all the time.. knowing who we are in Christ allows us to willingly put others first.. no need to criticize, judge or condemn.. no longer the need to control situations.. looking to Him we can be all He wants us to be.. no need to trample on others or put them down to elevate ourselves...

as for those people around me .. I will pray that He in His mercy will reveal Himself to them and  show them in His time...

.. bright HOPE for tomorrow...

so thankful for so rich a heritage.. so many different ways to choose to focus on the TRUTH..

first there is the WORD.. our God revealing Himself to us and giving us all for life and godliness..

beautiful and meaningful hymns from long ago ... communicating TRUTH in a soul touching way..
contemporary Christian songs, deep and heartfelt.. so uplifting..

a faithful family of believers, faithful prayer partners, people that CARE.. pointing me to HIM..

pleading with Him over the last few days for His presence in a family matter, this is what just came to mind...

“Great is Thy faithfulness,” O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

 

“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”

  Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

thankful for the presence of the One who put each star into it's specific place.. for His cheering on and most of all for the peace.. strength for today and BRIGHT HOPE for tomorrow..

TRUTH communicated.. He is faithful.. His faithfulness is GREAT.. it never changes and is without end.. so even in a situation that far outdoes all that has happened before... His faithfulness will sustain us.. will give us strength to face the scary tomorrows... and give us that hope that never disappoints.. I know who my hope is in, I know Him personally.. and for that I am eternally thankful!

All Praise be to HIM!

#SoliDeoGloria

.. walking selflessly in a selfish world.. by His grace ONLY

have been reading in Matthew 16 this past week.. and this is what jumped out on me yesterday and again today...

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Matthew 16:24-26

started thinking about what it looks like for me to deny myself.. that made me think of what my pastor taught his kids from a very young age.. he put it this way: "the moment someone else enters the room it is about this person, not about you"... denying myself .. what does that mean..

I think it means to put others first, I think it means being patient, not getting annoyed, being self- controlled,  thinking more about how to bless the other person, than to be blessed.. being selfless and putting the other person's interest above my own, being forgiving, making the first step to reconcile, not expecting anything this world has to offer for myself but rather finding all I need in Christ.. giving of myself and my time... and then this scripture came to mind:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5: 22-24

denying myself, taking up my cross daily means accepting where the Lord has me and joyfully following Him, trusting the Spirit to grow the fruit in me to be able to live that way.. let's face it, I can't so this out of my own strength.. I don't think anyone can..

the ultimate goal is this:

that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:19-20

denying myself, emptying myself of myself and being filled with the Spirit.. it's all about Him ... praying that by His grace I can try this again today.. one step at a time..

so thankful that He who began a good work in me WILL indeed bring it to completion.. phew.. He is so faithful, it blows my mind!

#SoliDeoGloria

.. an attitude of gratitude and PEACE...

love it when all I can do is break out in praise and thanksgiving.
today an ordeal that started on May 9th of last year, came to an end.
not quite, not until closing on March 6, but.. it did.

thankful that things will get a little easier in less than 2 months.
that's amazing.
God is so good.
He always comes through for me.
It's just who He is.
That's why I have had this peace since early July.
a peace that has so much to do with the One who gives it,
supernaturally.. but also, like He points it out..
is clearly related to and attitude of gratitude..

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

don't worry...because you know that the One who controls all things ultimately has already given you the biggest gift, salvation through His son, so sure He will give you all you need for life and godliness,

don't worry because He is good, all the time, He is full of this everlasting love for you.

He keeps His promises, He is trustworthy and faithful

that's how I know Him..

so don't worry, instead tell Him everything...

and here it comes: THANK Him for everything, what He has done in the past and what is going on right now...

even for the bad???

yup, even for the bad.

because, if He allows it, He must have a purpose for it.. again, informed by His goodness..

so, thank Him...

and mean it.

when one has gone through many valleys, this is not a hard thing to do.

it's not hard because once you have clung to Him for mere survival you know..

you know who He is.

and then, it comes down to this:

it's a choice. 

so choose to thank Him.

trust Him and just rest.

and that peace,

that marvellous peace..

it will overwhelm you.

then, when it all works out,

not necessarily the way one from a human point of view would have liked it, yet 

when it still works out.

all thanks goes to Him.

just really thankful right now.

love Him 

so blown away by His love and goodness.

again.

He is my ALL and ALL

#SoliDeoGloria

.. instagram likes and the love of the Father...

the day did come.. she took off again, this little, or not so little anymore daughter of mine.. on another jet plane.. to a land far, far away.. this time "just" for a little less than two months.. so hey.. that's peanuts.. we can do this..

taking her to the airport and sending her off this afternoon, I am so thankful that this morning I had some extra special cuddle-mother-daughter time with her..

was able to share with her once again how proud I am of her, how much I love her.. reminding her of some things she knows.. some things I will pray and hope she will hold onto as she ventures into the world once again..

I just so would want for her to understand her value better.. I would so love for her to know who she really is..

that she wouldn't have to make sure she posts her instagram photos at the perfect time
that she wouldn't have to make sure she always looks perfect... down to the perfectly curled eyelashes..
that she wouldn't allow "the world" to determine her value.. by likes and followers and such..

that instead she would know that she has been beautifully and wonderfully made..
that she is cherished and that there is One who rejoices over her with singing.
that there is the One who quiets her with His love and knows her worth.. duh.. He made her in His image and knows her intimately..
that He loves her and will never abandon her.. that she doesn't have to prove anything to Him,
that He has plans to prosper her and not to harm her, that He will give her a future and a hope ..
that if only she fixed her eyes on Him, she could  see that her path has already been laid out..
that there is a purpose bigger than herself,
that there is blessing and joy and peace..
and a love that will never leave or forsake...

I so would want for her heart to be so full of love from her Daddy in Heaven that disappointments by those around her wouldn't push her deeper into the pit of insecurities..


praying for her, because that's all that's left for me to do... it's all I can do, but it also is the very best I can do.. and, I will never stop.. for her and her sisters.. because, let's face it, I LOVE them with a love that will never be shaken.. a love that never ends.. a love that knows no boundaries..

from the moment I knew of each of them growing inside of me the love for them has increased ... sometimes it is hard to contain it..

so thankful I am the mother to my three daughters.. they are a gift and a reward from the Lord..
He blessed me indeed when He gave them to me..

..creating a masterpiece.. love so amazing ..

it's freezing out.. I guess that means even though I SOOOOOO wished for no winter this year... it indeed is happening after all... bummer...

sitting in my so amazingly beautified family room, I am loving this new fireplace I got for Christmas... yes, I didn't ask for it.. but someone paid attention to what I said, worked on it ahead of time, took it all apart, drove with the trunk open, for 6 hours, took the chances to be sent back at the border by overly eager border control officers, brought it all here and built it for me...

I love the way it turned out but most of all I LOVE that this person put that kind of an effort into giving me something special..
I loved watching him work on it for so many hours, paying attention to all the detail and turning it into a masterpiece..

today, I went and found a few things to decorate it a little.. and, wow, is it ever beautiful..

I have said it before, but I have to say it again..

I am so very blessed by the Lord, who, no surprises here, was working in my waiting, in my valley He was faithfully using for the good what the enemy had meant for evil.. He, who is faithful forever, and perfect in love, was preparing me and this amazing man of God for the moment in time that He had planned for our paths to cross...

with a love that casts out fears He has been at work in both of us, and even though we were so hurt, He taught us to trust.. because His plans are still to prosper, He had not forgotten us... in His wisdom unimagined, He chose the time and place for us to meet..

being the lifter of the lowly, compassionate and kind, He surrounded us and upheld us through all the tough times... He was with us in the fire and the flood...

this morning, while driving to meet with an immigration lawyer to gather some facts for future endeavours.. I was, as I always do, praying ( and no, I do not close my eyes )
I thanked God once again for what He is doing. I asked Him that we together could love Him better, that we together could serve Him better, that we together could know Him better, that together we could walk with Him, in closeness delighting in His presence, and that we would never forget that He alone is to be praised and thanked and worshipped .. on the mountain tops and the valleys..

because, He alone is SOVEREIGN, He is the One, the ONLY ONE, who is worthy of all praise...