it's 4:45, up since 2.. crazy to be awake.. so tired and not able to sleep anyways..
oh well, praying and pouring my heart out to my Jesus, so much going on in this mind of mine.
so I gave in and got my laptop.. crazy, I know...
consumed by love.. love for Him most of all, He, who rescued me.. He who keeps on rescuing me, He, who has given me new life, He, who gives me purpose, who sustains me through all the ups and downs of life.. He, who is the author and perfecter not only of my faith, but my entire being.. without Him there is nothing, with Him.. there are the riches of the glory of God and eternal blessing, provision and abundance .. love so amazing, so divine.. filling my heart to overflowing.. as I sit with Him, walk with Him, and hear from Him, as He sinks into my heart, I love Him more each day, and all those He has given me.... gratitude.. overwhelming gratitude, bursting my fragile little heart...
love for my husband.. never knew this kind of love... blessings flowing like a RIVER, a stream, a huge one, unending understanding and soul connection, unending tender affection, and fun, such unending fun, needs met.. it's deep, so very deep.. thank you Lord.... what a blessing to be able to bless him, just by being who I am.. how refreshing..
love for my children... thinking about just how much I love those beautiful girls, all so wonderfully made, woven together in my womb by the Father, ( blows my mind ) so precious to me.. so proud of them all, and so desperate for them to know Him.. thinking about the depth of my love for them I wondered.. and it's one of those things I will never quite be able to find out..
is the way I love them, the heart-bursting, not knowing how to express the magnitude of it, LOVE .. is that how every mother loves her children? is it me, am I more extreme in my feelings ( and the answer for this I know : yes! ) and does it have to do with what I did, forgiven though it is, don't get me wrong, it is not guilt driven.. but do they mean so much more because I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are indeed a gift, an undeserved gift from above... where all good gifts come from....
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
fact is.. I am consumed.. with the love for them.. so I pray.. for them.. a lot.. and I ask, again and again, how to love them well, I ask for wisdom, for what to say and what not to say, how to show them that I am for them, always, that they are so very precious to me...
love for my brothers and sisters in Christ, my pastors in particular, and once again, I am asking the Lord... how can I bless, how can I love, in the right and appropriate way..
Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches.
Galatians 6:6
Respect everyone, and love the family of believers.
1 Peter 2:17
so I pray, for all those brothers and sisters.. my fellow believers, and love, encourage and help, as He leads me..
and lastly, a love for all those the Lord brings and has brought into my life that do not know Him... wherever they are, my prayer is that they could see Him in me, that through the cracks and all the brokenness His love could flow freely, that I would not hinder what He wants to accomplish through me, despite of me...that I would love them with His love, be His hands, His feet, His smile and His hugs....
this love, it flows, a never ending stream, a heart filled by His love, every morning anew, overflowing, loving Him because He first loved me.. loving those He gave me, ...it's quite amazing.. maybe that's what keeps me up at night.. ;)
thankful to Him, from whom all blessings flow, living to bring Him glory.. because that's what it is all about...
SOLI DEO GLORIA
