not all things beautiful in His time??????

 listening to a very old Christian song... very old because I listened to this when I first had become a Christian.. we sang it  at the Women's Bible Studies I went to back then ... :)

in His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful in His time... Lord my life to you I bring, may each song I have to sing, be to you a lovely thing, in Your time....

I have trusted Him to make all things beautiful in His time since I first met Him..

so as I am listening and praying and thinking I am evaluating my faith... oh how much more I understand today what this means.. how many different facets of "beautiful" become a reality in a relationship with Him..

I am sure I was hoping and praying for my marriage to become a happier place for all of us, sometimes it looked like it, but ultimately this "thing", my marriage, never became a beautiful thing....

has He made even the break-up of this "thing" beautiful through His presence with me throughout my deepest despair? yes. has He allowed me to come to a different understanding what "beautiful" is? yes.
has He shown me things I never knew before? like how it feels to be held by Him, when all around me was shattered? yes. has He showed me more and more who He is, how beautiful He is, and how much He loves me? yes..
has He changed my perspective of what to long for and expect and hope for while here on earth? yes.
has He taught me to fix my eyes on what is eternal and not on what is temporal? yaha!

another hope for something to become beautiful, thinking maybe the time was now, didn't come true.. do I still trust Him? you can be sure of that.. I trust that His beautiful is worth all the ashes and brokenness around me...

makes me think about my mother, who I was sharing this with.. how heaven will be this amazing place, if we are indeed reconciled to God... remember her saying that this was all nice and dandy, but that she also wanted things to be beautiful here...  too bad she was and still is missing out on the truth... that even though some things never become "beautiful" by the world's standards while here on earth, the beauty lies in knowing God Himself.. because He is more beautiful than gold or silver, more precious than any "white-picked-fence idea of happiness" we can come up with...

oh yes, even though some of the things I was trusting God to make beautiful in His time will never be made beautiful because of choices of others, He indeed continues to make all things beautiful for me..
Praise be to the Lord!!!