there is nothing I can do and there aren't even any clear answers yet... so I left it with the Lord and His peace was mine, so I enjoyed this weekend like I should have..
back home, and having talked with my mother on the phone yesterday.. the reality of her CT scan is right back on top of the list of things I am thinking about...
today another CT scan was performed, one that will give the Dr's a better look at those spots on her lungs...
spending the weekend with my sweet friend Mary, who happens to be a physician and works in a hospital taking care of dying patients, I finally asked her what she thought this all could mean..... :(
when I was a little girl growing up in Germany my mother had a huge "Health book" and whenever someone was sick I always looked up what it all meant and what one could do to make it better.. I guess I always wanted to help those in need..
I still research stuff, it's much easier now, only have to google it.. and there it all is, at your fingertips..
so when I did, what I read did not help make me feel any better about this...
we will not find out about the results until Thursday... and I am still praying that these spots might be just scarring due to bronchitis.. I am praying that my mother would not have to go through the painful experience of dealing with secondary lung cancer..
I have experienced loss before, and as much as I have come to appreciate what God has done in me and through me because of it, I cannot fathom to see my mother suffer and to ultimately have to say Good bye to her.....
my only hope is that she will meet my Jesus while she is still with us, nothing has ever been more important to me.... she said next time I will sing at Carnegie Hall she would like to come along.... that would be amazing.. :)
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