.. do you think you matter to God???

everyone is on a journey, we all are somewhere... all in different places.. the One who made us is the only One who knows where we all are and where we are going, He knows the reason we are where we are and  He has a plan for each of us..
the plan ultimately is to restore us to Himself...
this is all He ever wanted..
He created us in His image..
He created this earth for us, He gave us all we needed and a purpose..

and then, we messed it up..

since then, it has been about us coming back to Him..

it took His Son to be sacrificed, the Firstborn, without blemishes, the Lamb of God..
so that we could be reconciled.. that we could return to Him and remain with Him..

when we get saved, we become His, He sees Jesus' righteousness when He looks at us, He loves us like He loves His Son, He gives us all we need..

and yet, there we are, the Holy Spirit in us, we know we are His now and all of our sins are forgiven..
but we are still broken, we still are missing what was supposed to be ours.. all that Jesus always had.. His core needs met by His Father..

safety, security, value, purpose, consistent love.. knowing that He was the Beloved, and that His Father was well pleased with Him..

we all have these needs.. living in a broken world however, none of us has received any of this the way it should have been.. no one's fault.. no one to blame, just a fact..

so there He is now, Jesus, the Lover of my Soul, God, my Heavenly Father, the Spirit, the Counsellor and Comforter..
I matter to them / Him.. the triune God..
we all do..

He knows what has transpired in our lives, He knows our hang ups...  the longing we have.. the longing to have the soul of a well loved child..
the child who would have known safety, security, love, value and purpose.. the child who would have been able to trust, because her parents were delighted to have her.. would have never let her down..  or made her feel unwanted or not good enough... or frightened her, by their absence or disinterest.. or maybe even by their abuse.. emotional, verbal, physical or even sexual..

again... no one to blame.. we all have had parents that had parents that had parents.....

He, though... the Father.. He knows what it will take to rebuild that safety that we so crave.. allowing Him to come and touch the places of our pain is the first step..

so, no wonder that "event" of last week happened when it happened... still no protection from the one who was supposed to make me feel safe during my childhood.. he still is the one that by his total disregard for me, places me in situations that are frightening..

I have forgiven before and tried to be okay with it.. after all, being a child of God meant I was restored, healed and had all that I needed... truth is, I do not need to pretend.. I can be real about the fact that I am still hurt, vulnerable and sad... I have let my father of the hook, I am not blaming him, I am just saying that my core need to feel safe, loved and valued was not met and that it left me vulnerable...

He, my Father, He will never leave me or forsake me, He delights over me with singing, I am His beloved and He has been with me all along... He will never leave me to face anything difficult without being right there for me.. He will always keep me safe..
He alone is able to love like this.. no one else is..

as Jesus has led me along the path of healing He will continue to do so.. He will reclaim my brokenness  and restore my security.. He has brought me very far indeed.. I am not  all there, but I know that in His time He will complete the good work He has started in me...
so glad that NO ONE can thwart His plans.. He is the Sovereign God.. and I matter to Him..
I really do :)