..physical touch, quality time and affirmation....

took the test and it was confirmed.... :)

I knew it already, but it was good to see it "black and white" so to speak..

I am talking about the 5 love languages.. the first one, far ahead of all the others:

TOUCH......

followed by Quality Time and Words of Affirmation..........

so.... leaving the whole aspect of overstepping boundaries.. moving from the righteous to the sinful... aside...

---> it is not that Jesus is not enough..

it is not that He is not the source of my hope, my joy, my peace... 

it is not that He is not blessing me... it is not that I am not fulfilled serving Him,

it is not that I am not more concerned about the lost.. those that do not know Him yet..

it is not that I do not think of others and care for them and have tremendous compassion for them..

and because of that give generously of myself, my time, my attention and my love...

it is not that I am not thankful for my children, my friends, my church... and all the many blessings He bestows on me daily...

it is not that I will be fine, even when I never get married again....

but.....

TOUCH, QUALITY TIME and WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.... with, like I said, TOUCH far ahead of everything....

that's what I am longing for.... and is this wrong? a sign of weakness? a sign for me not being where I should be? not mature enough? not Christian enough?

He is the One that made me that way.....

so... if I have to live a life without those things... I will cling to my Lord, and trust that He will sustain me... but I do long for the touch.. that communicates love...

a little tidbit of information... you know you are desperately deprived of what communicates love to you when it takes all out of you not to break down crying when your orthodontist works on your teeth...

or your massage therapist massages your face ...

there is nothing I can do about that.

I am thankful that God has shown me how my past and my need for love and acceptance from a real live man had lead me to pass over from righteousness to sin without being willing to call a sin a sin..

I am working through the past events that have somehow distorted my way of dealing with this specific area..

I know now though that I am just that person that God made me, that touchy, feely, affectionate, loving, caring woman, that was made to complement a man and together manifest who God is...

again, if He wants me to remain single, I will... and I will have to rely on Him to stay pure.. and that I will... with all that I have in me..