today, after a nice lunch with a wonderful friend I am at home, just mowed my backyard jungle and my arms are all itchy.. and now, all I want to do is curl up and cry...
without going into details, what has happened this morning made me look at my old blog: "Beauty in the turmoil" and find an entry about patience......
here it is:
"If you know me, you know that I am a passionate, ( some negative and very mean :( people call me fanatic.. the nerve) enthusiastic person.... most of the time this kind of character trait comes with another , that is not quite that positive ( if you think it is positive to begin with).... the not so good thing that comes with passion is often times IMPATIENCE...
So, God, my beloved Daddy, has had his hands full with me in that way... many times in my life I have just jumped right into situations that seemed so right at the moment but then turned out disastrous......
After 16 years of having the Holy Spirit living in me I am happy to say that the patience that is part of His fruit has also grown "a little bit" in me......
As I am so very excited now.... you got it, I am also really struggling with impatience...
So I thought, why not try and get some wisdom from "THE" source of wisdom... so I did a little word study of the word patience in the Bible.
As all good scholars ;) do, I first looked patience up in the dictionary and the thesaurus..here it goes:
Meaning: the capacity to endure what is difficult or disagreeable without complaining
Synonyms: forbearance, long-suffering, sufferance, tolerance
Related Words: acquiescence, resignation; passiveness, passivity; amenability, compliance, conformism, docility, obedience, subordination, tractability, willingness; discipline, self-control; submission, submissiveness
WOW....I knew it was a high calling...
Now, what does the bible have to say... interestingly enough patience, the noun is only found in the bible 17 times, to be patient 27 times.... hmmmmm
Does that maybe mean this is an action... something we need to choose to do, rather than wait for it to happen by itself... ( as an aside... to bad this site has no emoticons... I so would like to use some here and there)
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. (Psalm 40:1)
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. ( Romans 8:25)
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ( Romans 12:12)
And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. (Hebrews 6:15)
These are only four of the verses that contain the word patient... there is quite a bit though that speaks to me and let's me know what the Lord has for me, if I wait patiently....
He will hear my cry, we will receive what is promised... it tells me too when to be patient... in affliction, and when I am hoping for something I do not have....this verse in Romans 8 reminds me of another one that sounds almost the same: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ( Hebrews 11:1) Now isn't it interesting the connection that can be made here..
If we hope patiently for what we do not have, and we are being sure of what we are hoping for, that's faith... after waiting patiently, we will receive the promises...so even though we cannot see them now, through faith, which is a gift from God, we do not loose hope, actually, like Romans 12:12 says, we are joyful in this hope...it is amazing.
I love the Word...it has answers for all our questions.... that's another proof that our Father in Heaven loves us so much...He has given us His word, so that we can find all we need, wisdom, hope, joy and faith..
So, once again, I have the capacity to endure what is difficult or disagreeable without complaining, I have the willingness to be obedient...because, as I wait patiently, my God gives me joy as I hope in what I do not have, knowing that He hears me and will give me what He has promised and He even provides and grows the faith that I need to be able to hold on to this hope.... AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
As the Spirit testifies to my spirit I can joyfully and patiently serve Him while I am waiting....."
this was July 29, 2010... it had been 7 months and 11 days that my husband had walked out on me and the kids... I had just started to work at the Pregnancy Crisis Center and was more and more becoming aware that God might have something exciting down the road for me....
today...I am living this calling and don't take me wrong, I am so blessed by it... and yet.. I looked this up because my deepest longing, the one thing I am most impatient about, has not happened... it is almost 3 years ago and I guess I still struggle with the same stuff.... so today, I am going to curl up and cry out to my Father.... it's all I can do.
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