.. "self pity, self destructive, depressing "....

I need routine... I crave routine.. without routine I am a weak little leaf tossed about by the wind...

yes,
this is why it is good for me to have commitments, obligations and responsibilities...

this is why I need accountability... getting up for a workout.. having appointments and meetings to attend, people counting on me...

because... otherwise, I am easy prey for all the "self pity, self destructive, depressing" thoughts that enter my mind...

coming to Hope for Life this morning, meeting for prayer with my dear friends and co-workers.. oh how good it is to be able to share ( and yes, vent a little ) and then take it to the Lord...

even walking into the church, being greeted by sweet old ladies and my youngest little friend bringing "Rehfeldt" an Easter painting... with two stickers and writing on it :)

I need to be reminded how good I have it... how precious it is, to be a follower of Jesus... reminded of the sacrifices of others before me makes my "sacrifices" look so pathetic and small...

this is Paul:

"I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again.  Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes.  Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea.  I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm....."

taking everything to Him in prayer, my burdens become light... so, what if my kids are fighting their heads off, there seems to be no one that fits with me, I am discouraged by the paths my dearest loved ones are on... He is still in control...

thank you Lord, that you are so much bigger than anything I am facing today....  or tomorrow or any day for that matter.... help me to be content and trust you.... please... :)