... taking the idol off the pedestal....

so this morning... I knew I had to let go of something very dear to me..
I was sad, I didn't want to... somehow I thought if I let go of this, I was saying Good bye to something that was mine.. ha. maybe even something I felt I had a right to get.
the lies we can be tangled up in... phew...

so this morning. as I was reading in the new passage for the week. this is what jumped out at me:

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

 Colossians 1:27

there it was.
He showed it to me.. as the truth was revealed to me, gently, because that is how my Heavenly Daddy does it, it all came together in my mind..

I had, informed by my past,  by unmet, legitimate needs and deep hurts, allowed the need to "be completed" by a man that would for once love me the way Jesus loves the church, to become my "All in All"

I had put it up on a pedestal. I had made it my idol.

I had been dismissing what He, the Saviour had done for me... casually I would say, yes, I know I have hope in Him, for the future with Him, for Him to never leave me, for me to be united with Him in Heaven.... all those wonderful AMAZING and HUGE truths I had allowed to be diminished.. to be made small, because something was more important to me in the here and now.....

so I repented... I asked Him to forgive me for this and I took it down, the idol.
He removed the lie, the lie that I would only be whole when in a godly relationship with this amazing godly man, in a marriage with this follower of Christ. the one that would love me and cherish me, who I could respect and love and encourage, who together with me would want to follow Christ and serve Him....

I am not just a half of something. I am not the dismissed, discarded part of a whole that no longer exists... and don't get me wrong, I know that. I know it and yet.. somehow I had it all wrong.

so I have surrendered. again. on a deeper level I hope. I have resolved to take this desire and longing off that pedestal and put my Jesus back on it.

will it be easy to stick with this? no. will I feel lonely and overwhelmed and sad at times? yes. maybe.
but I believe, and my Hope is that He, who is my All in All, will be there for me. in a new way. in a deeper way.

I know, He won't let me down. I know it. because He never does...

Christ in me. The Hope of glory.

Love so amazing!!!