.. refining hurts... :(

it is a chilly morning in Minneapolis, Minnesota......  it was about 40F when I got here this morning at 7:30.... took a shuttle from Duluth, Mi which is across the St. Louis River from Superior, Wisconsin :)

chilly and dark and sad, this morning at 4:45 am, when I had to start my journey back home..
now that I am sitting here and the sun is shining on the window at my gate, the world looks a bit more inviting and brighter..


missed my girls and my puppies and it will be good to see them again.....

thinking of the last 4 days, my head and heart are spinning... so much to understand, learn, grasp and to trust Him for.. such blessing and deep things..  can't really describe it very well.....

I feel like He has been taking me on this new path, has been starting to work on a level a lot deeper than what He has been refining and shaping before.... unchartered waters, can be a bit scary and yet so wonderfully amazing...

just as I am writing this I received some information that took me a aback a little... if that's how you word it when you feel betrayed and hurt in some rather very vulnerable place..

this is why the whole " hopelessness" in this life, here just lingers... it seems it never ends.. it seems that this is what life will always be.. and it obviously is fine, pain is part of life in this broken world, where anyone, even your most trusted and closest people will cause you pain...

have been talking a lot about forgiveness... I guess I get to prove again that I mean what I say, when I say that it is just a matter of obedience, something that needs to be done because God tells us to, because Jesus did it first for us... how can we withhold it... this one came out of nowhere, and I am just shocked right now... accepting to live with the consequences of someone else's inconsideration... not sin, just something I didn't think would happen... I can get past it and giving it to the Lord is the best way to do that...

ok.. that was not what I had in mind when I started writing this..

bottom line is.. we are on a journey.. He loves us too much to not always be at work at refining us and transforming us into His likeness and the unfortunate truth is that most of the time this is painful...

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Colossians 3:12-14

I know... and I will forgive, before the sun goes down... just a bit numb at the moment.. God is still good and He is blessing me tremendously :) all the time