... I am NOT alone...

yesterday, I had just left to drive to work, I passed my "little" daughter who was driving home from a friends house... as I felt such love and pride it hit me... I WILL MISS HER SO MUCH...

all these "lasts".... last dance recital last week....last exam today , Prom tomorrow, Graduation next week... exciting and significant moments... proud moments.. for sure, and then again, bittersweet, because obviously something is coming to an end... 

8 years ago, when my eldest daughter graduated Highschool I remember I was thinking that when I was going to get to heaven I was going to have a very serious talk with God...

there He had us mothers having those little babies grow inside us, leaving us no choice but to fall deeply in love with them before we even saw them... then, they would be totally dependent on us, their mere survival our responsibility... He made them so round and so cute, we couldn't help but love them even more... as they were growing a little less dependent over time we grew to appreciate them, admire them and simply adore them more and more each day...

only, to one day, after about 18 years to get a "Good bye, I am excited to embark on my own journey now... see you later Mama........."

don't get me wrong, I am excited for her, I am happy she is a healthy young girl that is going to start her own journey now.. I am praying for her and her sisters daily and I trust Him to take good care of them.. no matter where they are..

I will miss her though... my baby, I will be lonely, more than I am now.. it's just going to be my puppies and I and thank the Lord for them :)

so yesterday, as I was driving to work the sadness aspect of this all overwhelmed me and I cried... a lot... but then, this song came up... I have had it, you guessed right, on repeat ever since...

"I Am Not Alone"

by Kari Jobe

When I walk through deep waters

I know that You will be with me

When I'm standing in the fire

I will not be overcome

Through the valley of the shadow

I will not fear

I am not alone

I am not alone

You will go before me

You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow

I see Your light is breaking through

The dark of night will not overtake me

I am pressing into You

Lord, You fight my every battle

And I will not fear

You amaze me

Redeem me

You call me as Your own

You're my strength

You're my defender

You're my refuge in the storm

Through these trials

You've always been faithful

You bring healing to my soul

as much as I am alone, I will be alone, I am not alone... if you are getting what I mean :)