I bought the little song on iTunes and it doesn't fail to get me all teary eyed.... a marriage of 75 years.. what a wonderful testimony of love and commitment...
God's design lived out.. what a blessing.
makes me think of my messed up "marriage" history....
Marriage # 1: married for the wrong reasons, both of them, the reasons, rooted in sin, my own ( the abortion) and one committed by someone else... walked away because of immaturity and lack of commitment.. no idea about God's design and law... hurt my children in the process ...
Marriage # 2 : a follower of Christ in the meantime, not much better equipped for the lack of role models of how to be that godly wife I needed to be, fully committed to stay and learn and make it work by Christ's strength and grace... the choice wasn't mine this time...
so sad... never wanted my life to look like this..
so, the tears that come when listening to this beautiful and heartfelt little love song are tears of regret as much as such a love just touches my heart...
forgiven? yes. thankful for God's redeeming love? for sure. resting in His acceptance? you bet.
and yet... sad for leaving a legacy like that... desperately relying on my Lord to transform those things that for sure were not the way He designed it, into something beautiful.. a blessing for my children rather than a road block setting them up for the same failures...
damaged by sin, He has been at work to restore and to bind up my broken heart...
surprisingly He is using another broken vessel to reach down into the deepest places of my heart..
amazed at what I see, and feel... the truth of what I have believed since He came and opened my eyes, that through Him all things are possible, happening right in front of my eyes and inside this rather cautious soul of mine....
one step at a time.. hand in hand with my Father... my Daddy, who has my back.... I might just dare to open this heart up once again... if He is for it... :)
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