..a whisper .. greater struggle and distress...

I cried out to God for help;

    I cried out to God to hear me.

 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

    at night I stretched out untiring hands,

    and I would not be comforted.

 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;

    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.

 You kept my eyes from closing;

    I was too troubled to speak.

Psalm 77: 1-4

it is during a time of greater struggle and discouragement that I have now for the second time in just a few days heard the Lord telling me something new…
through His calling to open a Pregnancy Center more than 3 years ago, I, a tremendously sheltered and spoiled woman in regards to a stable home and upbringing and lifestyle, my eyes have gradually been opened to the dire need so many people struggle with day in and day out.
thanks to the Lord, and only because of Him my heart is full of compassion and love for those with no home, no one to love and care and nurture them, for those that, like it seems, never had a chance.

heard Him whisper something into my ear about a shelter for young women and girls, a home, not a big place… a shelter for some to find help and direction and most of all the Hope that has been mine for almost 20 years.. the assurance that through what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross more than 2000 years ago, I am, by believing,  reconciled to the Father, no longer separated and therefore able to navigate through life’s storms and hardships, learning to depend on Him more and more each day.

like 3 years ago, it is but an inkling, a faint idea… a little flame… something to nurture, protect and surrender to the Lord daily…. in time, if it is His will, He will, like He has before, bring about what it is He has in mind..

This, put into words so beautifully by the founder of the Scott Mission is what my heart is resonating with:

”Through Christ's love, we care.


We reach out to those who have been passed by.


We restore hope.


We build community.”

Isaiah 55 in it’s entirety speaks about this, so it’s  hard for me to pick a verse or two…. but these will have to do for now:

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
   

 come to the waters; 
and you who have no money,
    

come, buy and eat! 
Come, buy wine and milk
    

without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,
    

and your labor on what does not satisfy?


Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    

and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;
    

listen, that you may live.


I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
    

my faithful love promised to David.”

feeling something take over.. otherness.. it brings freedom on it’s wings.. freedom from worry, sadness  and self pity …. freedom to get excited to help others find something that has been mine for so long.. undeserved favour and love in my life.. love extended by the One who came up with it in the first place :)
Praises be to Him and Him ALONE!

....trouble and distress around me....

it's been a weird couple of weeks... if I had to use one word to describe it, I think it would have to be discouragement ...

discouraged personally, confronted with realities I cannot pretend don't exist anymore.

discouraged by what I see as I am interacting with the youth at Hope for Life, and am confronted with the dire circumstances they face..

discouraged by the world around me... seeing a society walking down a path of destruction .. happily rebellious, dismissing and slandering all that has helped it prosper for so long..

examining who I am in all of this... I am saddened and disappointed,  and the spiritual gift of discernment, as wonderful as it is... has left me seeing things very clearly, maybe too clearly...

wondering if I need to step away from all the info that is out there, so easily accessible... important too... but:  as a Christian I know that I need to fix my eyes on what is eternal and not on what is temporary... 

shut down my twitter account and stop reading the posts of those that are battling all those detrimental changes happening in our society..

truth is, what seems new and so modern and advanced today... the break down of morals and values informed by what God, our Creator, has given us as a "Manual" is not that new... sure, it looks different today... brought into our homes through the internet, into the minds of kids, through the media and all the "progressive" people out there,  this garbage is NOT NEW...

this is what the Bible says:

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.  They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.  They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,  slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;  they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.  Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Romans 1:23-32

scary, proven true in history so many times.. I am thankful that this is equally true:

You are righteous, Lord,

    and your laws are right.

The statutes you have laid down are righteous;

    they are fully trustworthy.

 My zeal wears me out,

    for my enemies ignore your words.

 Your promises have been thoroughly tested,

    and your servant loves them.

 Though I am lowly and despised,

    I do not forget your precepts.

 Your righteousness is everlasting

    and your law is true.

 Trouble and distress have come upon me,

    but your commands give me delight.

 Your statutes are always righteous;

    give me understanding that I may live.

Psalm 119:137-144

so, I do not have to be discouraged... all I have to do is this:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

holding on to truth and trusting God for each and everyone He brings my way... through Him I can do that.. one word description of where I am: Thankful!

..a life considered worthy in the eyes of God?...

so thankful for sunshine, even when the temperatures are near the freezing point..
so thankful for my time with my best friend this morning ....
went to bed sad and spent and emotionally exhausted last night, I thank the Lord for a special friend who prayed with me and for me right before turning in.... thank the Lord for Skype..
so thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that He meets me, where I am, ALWAYS..
no matter where this is...

this is what He had for me this morning, as I am following along my churches' "reading plan"....

Don’t you remember, dear brothers and sisters, how hard we worked among you? Night and day we toiled to earn a living so that we would not be a burden to any of you as we preached God’s Good News to you.  You yourselves are our witnesses—and so is God—that we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of you believers.  And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children.  We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.

1 Thessalonians 2:9-12

so thankful to know and be able to accept that leading a life that is honest and devout ( and far from faultless) in front of all believers ( and my children) means toil, striving and agonizing... it means not giving in to fear and standing firm on the truth...

so thankful for His encouragement for me today, that I am not wrong to plead, to encourage my children to live their lives in a way that God would consider worthy..

that this is what a parent, mother or father, needs to do.

so very thankful though that I do not have to be the Holy Spirit for anyone... and obviously I could never be, but that I just have to try very hard to live a life that God would consider worthy, pleasing to Him, encourage and urge those around me to live like this.. the rest is up to Him, who is able to do so much more than I could every dream up......

holding on to this, for strength and encouragement...

a new day, new drama, new hurts and difficulties.. a life of labor and toil... yet so blessed, so blessed in the arms of my Daddy, I can face it.. today, tomorrow and until He finally takes me home with Him!! 

.. I CAN make that choice.....

have been thinking and praying and talking so much about leading a victorious life lately..
living out the reality that the Spirit is inhabiting my body, that He enables me to become more and more like Christ,  that I have been born again,that I am a new person, the old has gone, that I am forgiven and set free,  that I can choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and I can rely on Him to give me peace and joy at all times..that  I don't need to be afraid, because if God is for me, who can be against me......

that is very cool, it really is...

I am thankful for having been under solid Christian teaching for almost 16 years, for strong relationships with godly friends, for an amazing mentor, who is so committed to following Jesus that following her always is a tremendous inspiration........

a discussion about living this way at my Small Group this week reminded me once again that even though this is all true and it is all about standing firm on the truth, no matter how I feel at any given time... this does not mean it is easy...

it only means it is a choice... still have to make that one... again and again and again...

the thing to be thankful for is that I do have a choice, that I know about that choice, that because of what Jesus has done I CAN make that choice... again and again and again...

and then, there is God, who blesses us when we do...... sitting here late tonite I kind of felt a little sad for myself... and there He was, blessing me through a friend telling me about what this special little girl in my life has said.... made me cry, made my heart overflow with gratitude... to be loved... what a blessing that is.... undeserved... like the grace extended to me by my Saviour... who chose to give His life so that I could choose... to stand on the truth ...

this is my desire

to honor you

Lord with all my heart, 

I worship you.

 with all I have within me, I give you praise, 

all that I adore is in you.....

Lord I give you my heart, 

I give you my soul, 

I live for YOU ALONE... 

Lord have your way in me...

it's a choice!

.. Keep in step with the Spirit....

last week, my computer crashed.. I attempted to install the newest software update for Mac and there was some corrupted data on my hard drive....

long story short, the problem was solved by one very smart and friendly Computer geek and my "life as I know it and NEED it to function" was restored to me..

what was gone was all my playlists on iTunes and since I have been so very busy I have not been able to set them all up again...

I am a bit annoying to my dependants ( the one left with me tells me that) because I always have favourite songs and I listen to them over and over again, hence the playlists....

so with none so far, I have just been listening to random songs on my iTunes... and this is my point for today :) sorry it took so long to get there...
this is what came up yesterday... and you can believe it... it is on repeat right now :)

I'm in the river that flows from your throne

Water of Life

Water of Life

It Covers me and I breath again

Your love is breath to my soul

I can hear Your voice as You sing over me

It's Your song of Hope breathing life into me

I can feel Your touch as I come close to You

And it heals my heart

You restore and renew

"I can hear your voice" by MWS

reading the book "Forgotten God" right now, this song struck me in a much different way then before...

I am in the river... resonated with my soul because I am finally paying attention to the "forgotten God" the Holy Spirit, real person, one of the three, Father, Son and Holy Spirit... the One I have neglected..

I am in the river... the Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, is in me..... He is there to empower me, not for my own gain but to know Him more... to surrender to Him more, to submit to Him better and to be more like He is...

so when I was on my way to a rather difficult meeting yesterday I prayed to Him, the Holy Spirit and I asked Him to fill me, to permeate every last little corner in my soul.. to take over and to strip me of myself, all the stuff I am still holding on to, hurts and wounds, annoyance and impatience.. fear and weakness and insecurity.......

so that I could function like He would want me to.... because I do not want this to characterize me:

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;  idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions  and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

but rather this is who I want to be:

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

God is faithful, the Spirit is faithful, Jesus is faithful..... I am trusting them to do this work in me....

.....Adopted....... and set free....

sin... it always does something to us..
committed by us, our guilt can make us turn away from God..
committed against us, it hurts us and potentially causes resentment, bitterness.. leads us to unforgiveness and therefore leads to sin on our part..
all those things can be dealt with, when we choose to be obedient and repent or forgive..

consequences always follow sin.. no matter who commits them...

learning something new these days..
when sinned against, after forgiveness has been extended, healing most certainly comes..

consequences however, like increased insecurity, are a different set of problems that can still come up and wreck havoc...

none of those things are too hard for our Father in Heaven to deal with obviously.. He will, since He is so committed to growing us up in Him, use them to refine us and draw us even closer to Him...

living this out... no fun...
then again... makes one turn to the One who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow..
the One who said:

For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is mighty to save.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

    With his love, he will calm all your fears.

    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

and this:

In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will

and this:

Relent, Lord! How long will it be?

    Have compassion on your servants.

 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,

    for as many years as we have seen trouble.

He will never leave us or forsake us... and since He has already given us His son so we could be reconciled to Him, will He not give us everything else we will ever need? 

I am the adopted daughter of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords... He chose me before the foundation of the world and His love and affection are mine for eternity.

He willingly sent His Son to the cross for me and His goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..

He is faithful even when I am not and His compassion knows no end.. HIs mercies are new every morning and He is the Lover of my soul...

insecurities? no match for the Creator of Heaven and Earth... the Sovereign Lord of the Universe..

He loves me..  I am known, I belong, I matter, I am valued and cherished....

I am His..

and because of that the peace that passes all understanding is with me always..

Praise the Lord!

.. sharing IN His glory...#SoliDeoGloria

in my time with the Lord this morning...
this is what I read.. and did it ever jump out on me... wow...

In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.  All power to him forever! Amen.

1 Peter 5:10-11

this is the New Living Translation ... love that there are a few very good yet different translations.. the wording here allowed this to be such an "AHA" experience..

in His kindness.. oh He is so kind.. beyond all measure.. God called me to share in His eternal glory...  for some reason this just hit me.. I am here to bring glory to God... He saved me and has been working on me to make me more like Him so that others could see that and that the Glory would be all His.. makes sense to me and I am honored..  but now... because He is kind... He called me not only to bring glory to Him, but also to share IN His glory.... His eternal glory... eternally, with Him... 

by means of Jesus Christ... "by means"????  yes, by His beloved Son Jesus Christ DYING for me on the cross... this is what it took for me to be able to share in His glory... in Heaven one day, but even today... every day... I get to share in His glory...

could that be the peace He gives me, could that be the joy I have following Him and being at work for Him????

could that be that after I suffered a little while..  and lets face it... compared to eternity all of this is a really little, little while...  HE restores, supports and strengthens and puts me on a firm foundation.... and all of this because of His kindness.....

blessed deeply and beyond anything I could ever have asked for or imagined or hoped for.......

Love it when my God who loves me abundantly gives me a nugget like this... on a Monday morning...

#SoliDeoGloria