.. 4 more sleeps.... and 4 years ago....

so close now... started counting down to this 1 1/2 years ago... three more sleeps now, before I take off here.. and then just one more night before we all embark on this amazing cruise up to Alaska..

makes me think of 4 years ago....  right at this time I was in Florida, my youngest and her dance studio friends dancing at Disney World..

it was hard to be there, all those wounds were still so very raw.. seeing all the "happy" families.. and there was I, and my child.. oh, her Daddy did come to watch her, so did her Grandmother.. and we were doing just fine, or so it seemed.. but... the pain of the marriage break up was still so very very real...

flying back to Buffalo, I boarded my plane to Seattle the next day..  my daughter going home with her dance teacher.. when I got to Seattle, checked into my hotel, I found myself in my room wondering what I had done..

I was going to get on this cruise the next day and I did not know one single person... NO ONE...

thanks to what God has done in my life I am not as shy anymore as I used to be.. but, hey, 1900 people on a cruise ship for a week and I didn't know anyone... pretty scary..

alone, that's how I felt anyways.. so I guess it was okay...

met a nice lady the first morning and was seated at a table with all women travelling alone or with a girlfriend and made some wonderful friends there too..

it was good that I was by myself.. I needed the alone time in my cabin, the crying and praying and journalling and crying.. and more crying...

4 years later... so much has changed... I am still alone but this time, I think I know and have a relationship with quite a number of people I will meet up with... it is amazing to see them all again, some have become really close, have been a great support and encouragement for me in those last few years...

so, I am excited.. I feel blessed.. I cannot leave the turmoil and the difficulties behind, that's just not who I am, but I will enjoy and cherish every minute of this week.. I will allow the blessings of worship concerts and teaching times and devotions, of choir rehearsals and choir concerts ( with Michael W Smith ... oh my ) sink deep into my soul... I will allow the love that my God is pouring into my heart permeate every cell... and I will be blessed... I will be blessed by the people the God has brought into my life through all this and I will, if He allows, be a blessing to them..

considering I have counted down for over 500 days, this is going to go by SOOOOOO FAST.... but hey... there are other amazing things on the horizon because with my God there is never a dull moment......

this is what my Jesus said: "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I am intending... by His grace..to live those 7 days to the full... thanks to a friend who will be on the cruise as well, all the events have been entered into my iCal... on my iPhone.. it's going to be amazing!!!!

All Praise be to Him!!!