..live boldly for CHRIST.. and you WILL suffer....

He is a Promise Keeper
I love this about Him.
I know how important it is
a promise not kept can do quite some damage
I know that first hand / heart...

so, He is (the only) One to keep His promises ALWAYS

we love it
we find them in the scriptures
and we hold on to them
we stand on the them
and it gives us strength even when we can't see it

when starting to read the passage for the week on Monday this is where I was drawn to..
the promise.... ( in bold letters )

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.  Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, 18 and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.  When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour.  For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.  Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death,  and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

it encouraged me.
I thanked God for it.

reading it again today.
I realized
the whole passage is a promise so to speak.
we tend to not want to look at it that way

sheep in the midst of wolves
flogging
delivering over to death
put to death
hated for His name's sake

all promises.
the privilege of following Him boldly

some of His followers are experiencing this today- literally
those of us living for Him boldly are experiencing it, maybe not literally, but still

it's part of it
knowing Him in His suffering

He never covered that up
He spoke about it openly

being a follower of Christ is not like going to a cafeteria where we can pick and choose what we like,
it's a place with a set menu:

You Follow
You Suffer

"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him"  Philippians 1:29

and then....

But the one who endures to the end will be saved

these are Timothy's ( almost ) last words to us:

But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth.  The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
2 Timothy 4:17-18

and this is what HE Himself told us:

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world   John 16:33

He is a Promise Keeper.
I love Him!

..He makes all things beautiful in HIS time... ( not mine )

up late.
tough day ahead.
trusting God for all it will bring.

just read an old blogpost I called: " Wait my child"

it's from August 22, 2010

just a little over 8 months after my marriage had come to an end.
shattered into many pieces,
gathering them up and bringing them to my Lord
waiting was a huge struggle

patience, there is a reason it is part of the fruit of the Spirit
because we don't have any
or not much anyways.

waiting
trusting
surrendering
accepting

I didn't know how to wait
I wanted things to change
I wanted to know

I wanted to be done
with the pain
the loneliness
the difficulties

I wanted to fast forward
I wanted to be fixed

but that's just not how this works

there were many things He wanted to teach me still
before He would bring me to this new place
where restoration and redemption would happen

He never left my side through all of this
He worked with me,
gently
tenderly
and bound up my broken heart.

He taught me about Himself
I saw Him clearer
I learned to trust Him more

He taught me to take my eyes of myself
and fix them on Him
He called me to serve Him
He healed my innermost being
as I offered His comfort to those He sent me

I have learned to wait a little bit better
I am a little more patient

and
now
I am rejoicing and just drinking it all in

to be loved like this.
such extravagant love poured out on me
by Him,
the Creator of the Universe
the Lord of lords and the King of kings

how can I not serve Him
praise and worship Him
give Him all the glory

it's not about me
it never has been
it's all about Him
He alone is worthy to be praised

Abba Father
Lover of my soul
I can't resist the tenderness in You.

.. confessions of a bride-to-be....

shame.
guilt.

not from God.
He was the One who sent His Son to take away all our shame and pay the price so we would no longer have to be guilty / feel guilty

He is the One who taught us what is right and wrong.
so we would know that we are guilty.

all of us.
He also provided the way out.

so.
here is my latest story of shame and guilt.

if you have been reading my blog or know me,
you probably know that I have been married twice before.

yes.
since I am not trying to please man, but God and He has forgiven me for all my sins,
I do not hide anything from anyone

so.
married to escape my family and all it's dysfunction when very young,
not a Christian at the time, I didn't think anything was wrong to leave that marriage when it failed after 5 years.

I actually thought I was doing my two children a favour by taking them away from an atmosphere of constant fighting

just shows you how this world tells us all kind of lies.
I believed them.

God opened my eyes just 2 years later to who He is and what His plan really is.
bowing my knees to Him and committing to follow Him, receiving His forgiveness I married the man that I was already living with at the time.

that marriage, built on sand, not founded on the rock was tough, to say the least and ended in us all being betrayed and abandoned.

let me tell you, I tried and I tried and I tried. with God's help. on my own strength. and I tried some more and then it still ended. not my choice. I would have never left. I knew now that it was not what God wanted, that it was a sin and I was not going to do this to my children. so I trusted Him.

and it ended.

that was tougher
but I learned something.

my hope is in HIM,
not in Him fixing me and my circumstances.
in Him.
and He never leaves.
He keeps His promises.

so now, I am even more in love with Him
I want to please Him even more and be obedient to Him.

walking with Him closely over the last 5 1/2 years
I have been blessed.

and then He had this man for me.
this godly man.
this man that had been walking with Him. clinging to Him like I have.
and for the first time in my entire life I know I am loved,
cherished and valued by a man.

so, as we are planning this wedding,
and yes, it's my 3rd one.
I realized that I felt ashamed.
I felt I didn't deserve to be a bride.
dress and wedding and beautiful decorations and all.

so when I was out looking for a dress, God used a sales person and my best friend to make me see
that yes, I am a bride.
I have been forgiven.
God has cleansed me and I am a bride.
I am going to be married and God will bless it.
He wants me to walk down that aisle / lawn feeling giddy and blessed and pure..

He has restored me fully and I have no reason to feel ashamed.

so. I ended up ordering my wedding dress.
and it surprised me that it indeed is that.
A Wedding Dress.
not just some nice and pretty dress.

the sales person kept on asking me.. "do you feel like a bride in this dress"...

that's when I heard Him say..
"you are, Miriam, you are...
nothing wrong with picking a dress that makes you feel like one"

All Praise be to Him, and Him only

#SoliDeoGloria

... marriage advice to myself...

after having been single for about 5 1/2 years, I am preparing to get married again in 65 days..

ever since the unthinkable happened a week before Christmas 2009,
God has been using me to speak into my married girlfriend's lives..

I am not kidding myself.
I was as much responsible for the failure of my marriage.
I wasn't the one who gave up and left.
but I did contribute to it getting to the point where he did just that.

being unhappy, disappointed, lonely, rejected in your marriage is a difficult thing.
being tossed aside, a lifelong covenant broken, a family shattered into pieces..
that's a LOT HARDER

let me just say this:
I could have done without all the "not-supposed-to-be-moments" my girls and I have been encountering and struggling with since.
We all could have done without the consequences of the sin of separating what the Lord had put together..
it needed the "manufacturer's fixing" to heal all that was ripped apart...
( and the consequences remain anyways)

so... as I am contemplating my new marriage with my new husband,
apart from being so very, very thankful to God for bringing us together,

I am committed to this:
( relying on God for this, by His strength and grace )

I will always respect him
I will always put him first, ( right after God, but he is okay with this, since he does too :)
I will be his biggest cheerleader
I will be his most faithful supporter
I will be
patient
kind
not envy
not boast
not proud
not rude
not self seeking
not easily angered
I will
keep no record of wrong ( FORGIVE before the sun goes down )
not delight in evil
rejoice in the truth
always protect
always trust
always hope
always persevere.

I will pray each morning, ( and we are already praying together every morning and every night )
to be just that..
that godly wife that complements her husband,
submits to his leadership
standing by his side
trying ( again, by His strength... not mine )  to be the Proverbs 31 wife..

will we have issues and disagreements?
for sure.
what we will do with it is what is important...

we are praying that for all of our girls, five in total,
we could be showing them that marriage is something that can work
that when the Lord is in the middle of it all,
it is something that can last "until death do us part"....

He is all about restoring the years the locusts have eaten.
so I trust He will restore this for them, and for us.

Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

 See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

AMEN

... happiness and losses..... bittersweet reality...

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten"

“Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

 See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

it's an amazing thing...
He restores the years the locusts have eaten.. He really does.
He is doing a new thing.
in it I can see more clearly who He is.
He is able. more than able. ( and by that I mean POWERFUL. UNSTOPPABLE )
He is in control. sovereign. in charge.
He cares. He really does.
He is merciful. and kind. and detail oriented too.
He loves me. wow

I am so very blessed.
I love Him more.
I am more thankful.

I am also realizing something else.
as elated, ecstatic and happy as I am,
as thankful as I am,
as blessed beyond belief as I am.
it is bittersweet.

you know,
I came to Canada, from Germany, 23 year ago.
my first 4 years or so were extremely lonely.
never thought I could ever really connect with the people here in Canada.
I didn't think I could express who I was well enough in this foreign language.
never thought anyone would really get who I am,
our backgrounds so very different.
then. I became, by God's grace, a born again follower of Jesus Christ.
all of a sudden the people I met became more than friends very quickly.
we shared what was and is most important in our lives..
our love for Jesus.
we shared a purpose.
bringing glory to Him.
and.. I was no longer lonely.

through the years some of those friendships, ( and they are eternal ones.. how cool is that )
have become so deep, so very precious, that... even though I am so very happy and blessed by all that's happening in my life's "love department" ..
I am sad.
very sad.

change.
in some areas we so long for it.
in other areas. the good ones..
we really don't want it.
there are many I will miss.
there are some that thinking about leaving I am in tears on a regular basis already.
it seems
even in the good times
loss is a reality.

so,
as I am remembering a loss that occurred exactly 3 months ago
I am sad.
about losing my cutest little puppy
my Minnie
and, about all the many losses that will be happening
in a few months time

now, trying to be positive
I can come back and visit
and I will regularly 
my beloved daughters live here 
and I do have sisters here.
given to me by my Lord.
He knows how much I love them.
5 hours one way.
no big deal.
not for a German / Canadian girl that likes driving.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

..KEEPING OUT fear and worry.....

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. 

The Lord be with all of you.

2 Thessalonians 3:16

I love the Jesus Calling Devotional... this was one of the scriptures this morning..

I WANT TO BE CENTRAL in your entire being. When your focus is firmly on Me, My Peace displaces fears and worries. They will encircle you, seeking entrance, so you must stay alert. Let trust and thankfulness stand guard, turning back fear before it can gain a foothold. There is no fear in My Love, which shines on you continually. Sit quietly in My Love-Light, while I bless you with radiant Peace. Turn your whole being to trusting and loving Me.

sharing these little love letters and encouragements from Jesus with my youngest each morning is a privilege like none other.

cherishing those times knowing they will come to an end rather sooner than later..

Trust and Thankfulness standing guard..

against fears and worries..

I guess this is why even before any thought can enter my mind in the morning 

I NEED to give Him all that could cause anxiety to creep up..

being careful not to let it enter in sometime later in the day too..

Thankfulness and Trust

when some situation definitely would not evoke these kind of feelings I need to remember..

remember times when things looked as bleak and harsh before

and He turned them into something good

for those that love Him and have been chosen according to His purposes..

when it's hard to see anything potentially good in it at all..

when it's just sad and heart breaking and horrible..

that's when I have to choose to stand on what I know to be truth ..

not my feelings

truths like:

I will never leave you or forsake you

you are safe in the shelter of my wings

I will go with you 

I will make a path for you

I will hide you from your enemies

I love you with an everlasting love

my plans cannot be thwarted and they are to prosper you

not to harm

I am committed to you

I will finish what I started

I will bring you safely to my Heavenly Kingdom

I will prepare a room for you

and I will always delight over you

with singing..

my love will quiet you..

you are safe in my arms..

sickness

strife

dysfunction

hurt

chaos

loss

they all will fall away

but the Lord, the Lord Himself has become my salvation

He is my strength and my defence

I WILL TRUST

and NOT be afraid..

keeping out the fears and worries by guarding my heart with trust and thankfulness.

AMEN