...deeply satisfied ........

If then you have been raised with Christ, SEEK the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  SET your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is HIDDEN WITH Christ IN God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3: 1-4

this has been my dwelling place for the last few days...

amazing once again, how God does indeed work out every little detail in our lives..

4 weeks ago He told me to stay HIDDEN with Him... in His heart. He revealed to me that I had made something, not something bad, but still, I had made this something my top priority even over Him.. that I had to take that down and put Him where He belongs..

I did... and I have dwelt in His presence, hidden WITH Him IN God... delighting in His love and affection, care and concern..

and now, this passage talks about just this....  digging deeper, sinking myself deeper into this, I have discovered yet a much deeper satisfaction than before in seeking Him, His face, His presence, His love, His personality, HIM....... choosing to go to HIM, snuggle in and enjoy this HEAVENLY relationship no matter where my circumstances would have me is becoming more of a habit, something I do right away...

good thing I choose to walk with Him closely... He is always right by my side, so I only have to enter into His embrace and lay down my head where His heart is.. this is and has been my favourite place for almost 4 years, when I first discovered how perfectly my head fits there....

heard something AMAZING yesterday... an add on to the "SOLI DEO GLORIA" all for His glory alone, my reason for being here... not only am I here to bring glory to Him, but also to ENJOY HIM forever .......

He makes me smile, He makes my heart giggle, my soul is radiant, because of His love for me... because of who He is.... because... JUST because.. of HIM...

His presence, seeking it, is not a thing I have to check off each day... it is my hiding place, my place of refuge , but also my most delightful place, my cozy and warm and exciting and exhilarating and fun place to be...... he combines the love we all have longed for from a parent, a child, a lover... and it is all right there... undeserved... unfailing..... eternal....

no matter how long I live, I will never quite be able to figure out the depth and width of His love... that much I already know... oh to one day see His face... until then, I will love Him and seek Him, setting my mind on Him and all things above ... putting my hope in Him and Him alone...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

..We love because HE first loved us...

it's Valentine's Day today. made my beautiful girls some treats 2 days ago and put it all together in  nice Mason jars, with some twine and a tag I printed out.. all creative and pinteresty... :)

2 showings today, - with the house officially on the market now, I really pray it will sell fast-, I had to evacuate and find somewhere else to go.. not my usual "day off" routine...

connected with a friend for tea and sent some love out there through cyber space to all my loved ones, friends and family

so very blessed.. gifts from God, each and every one of them.

today is not different from any other day. we love. because He first loved us.

maybe today is "special" because some people maybe need a reminder? not sure... but anyways, showing love and appreciation should be a daily thing we do.

read this: "Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone." —C.S. Lewis...

truth is, He made us this way. we are wired to love. we are wired for community. 

reaching out to a troubled young mom over the last few days, praying for her without ceasing, seeing her go down that path  of destruction and trying to speak truth into her life I am so thankful she just took the first step on the way to recovery.

love. it comes in all shapes and sizes. rather than looking at myself and maybe feeling sorry for myself I fix my eyes on Him.. and on those that by His grace and provision I can love a little ...

that's what my Valentine told me today and I know it is true.

telling others is what it is all about

#SoliDeoGloria

..take heart.. I have overcome the world...

made this my Facebook cover today.. love this verse...

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

from spiritual high way out in the prairies, deeply encouraged and uplifted, to tragic news about a friend and sorrowful times in a loved ones life... it seems there is no shortage of emotions..

from vibrant and amazingly deep connection to witnessing "empty religion"..

 all in one week..

never a dull moment, that's for sure

it leaves me thankful

thankful that this is just one of the many verses that get it right

indeed,

He has told us ALL THIS in HIS WORD

so that we can have peace,

a peace,

not from this world

beyond all understanding and reasoning

not in ourselves, 

made up defences 

build up walls,

 but in HIM

that, oh yes,

don't be caught by surprise

there ARE trials and sorrows

plenty of them,

in this world

stuff we cannot control

stuff we don't like

stuff that hurts

but

TAKE HEART

be brave

have hope

don't let it steal your JOY

because

HE

and HE ALONE

has overcome it all

and so can we

not out of our own strength

but through HIM

have peace

and that peace that passes all understanding is MINE,

always,

as it guards my mind and my heart

in CHRIST JESUS

my SAVIOUR

I LOVE HIM

....lean back against you and breathe.. feel your heartbeat.....

so blessed to have been able to spent the last 3 days in a beautiful place.
somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. not that pretty or exciting and FREEZING cold.. yet. I know that I spent the last 3 days in a beautiful place.

out in the prairies. somewhere. a place permeated with the love of Christ. so tangible. so real.
beautiful because it's all about Him here. beautiful because of the sincerity of young hearts seeking after Him.

a special few days for me because by bringing me here He made me step out of my comfort zone and therefore draw near to Him more urgently.

speaking in front of students and faculty, sharing my brokenness. it had me nervous. and so I pleaded with Him. to fill me with the knowledge of His will, in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner WORTHY of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work...
my slides and my notes and all that I wanted to say. it frightened me. I didn't think I would be able to make sense of it. and so I pleaded.
no surprise. because of all the spiritual wisdom and the fact that through Him I can indeed do all things He calls me to do it flowed and it made sense. Hallelujah and all the glory be to Him for that.

beautiful. a beautiful place. beautiful young hearts, men and women. so blessed to get a glimpse of some of their love for the Lord. their passion. their struggles. real and authentic. so encouraging.

beautiful. beautiful because in His presence He, my Saviour, always is at work changing me.  He revealed something huge to me.
and so I am leaving here today changed. more aware of the reality of who I am in Christ. a sinner saved by grace.  overwhelmed by His love for me. His provision and grace, undeserved favour. His mercy. not being punished according to my sins, but rather loved, cared for, held close, every need met. my cup overflows...

praising Him. waiting expectantly what He will do next. what an amazing God we serve.
#SoliDeoGloria

.... carried by Your constant GRACE....

got some very saddening news today. a little boy with leukaemia we had been praying for over a year just relapsed. this time the cancer is more aggressive and chances for beating this are only 50 %.
read in the journal entry his mother posted that he was singing this song tonite... oh, he is 7 years old..

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

 Matt Redman

all that comes to mind is this:

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Luke 18:16-17

and then this:

Praise the Lord, my soul;

    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

 Praise the Lord, my soul,

    and forget not all his benefits—

 who forgives all your sins

    and heals all your diseases,

 who redeems your life from the pit

    and crowns you with love and compassion,

 who satisfies your desires with good things

    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103: 1-5

Lifting up this little boy to the One who is always faithful.
Please pray with us...

... I can see YOU clearly now.....

... the idol off the pedestal I can see HIM clearly again....

scary to think that my view of Him could have been obstructed and I was not aware of that...
still drew close. still listened. still walked with him. still blessed. wow. how thankful am I for Him to shut the door. allow the hurt. allow the pain and the wondering and questioning. He knew what He was going to show me. He knew it was necessary because I could not see it otherwise.
so sorry for doubting His goodness for me.
so very very sorry for that.
amazed by His love and forgiveness.

blessings He has for me permeating my heart unhindered now.. amazing.
blessings that have been mine for a long time, I appreciated them too. cherished them, but in light of the one thing I didn't have it "all kind of was nice but...."

there was always that "but" because that one thing I thought alone could satisfy was missing..

ok. so now, that He, the Lover of my soul has removed this foolish idea, this lie, I am enjoying the love and attention to detail my "darling of heaven" showers me with.

so much love coming my way from the wonderful people God has put into my life..
my daughters. my siblings and parents. my friends.

the timing could not have been better. to do this one day before my birthday. no surprises here.
He does know what He is doing.

this is what my heart sings right now:

Lifting hands in song and dance 

Humbled by the glory of the cross 

We've been redeemed and reconciled 

Caught up in the splendor of it all 

Eternal life You gave 

So we will bring song of praise 

How wonderful 

How lovely is Your name 

You captivate our hearts 

You save us by Your grace 

God of mercy, God of love 

How we marvel at Your majesty 

As we kneel before Your holy throne 

In the beauty of Your mystery 

We are children of the King 

Father, of Your love we sing 

And You are 

Closer than a brother, Jesus 

Closer than a brother, Jesus 

Oh, the name of Jesus 

Oh, the name of Jesus 

Leeland

Thank you Jesus. I love you!

... taking the idol off the pedestal....

so this morning... I knew I had to let go of something very dear to me..
I was sad, I didn't want to... somehow I thought if I let go of this, I was saying Good bye to something that was mine.. ha. maybe even something I felt I had a right to get.
the lies we can be tangled up in... phew...

so this morning. as I was reading in the new passage for the week. this is what jumped out at me:

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

 Colossians 1:27

there it was.
He showed it to me.. as the truth was revealed to me, gently, because that is how my Heavenly Daddy does it, it all came together in my mind..

I had, informed by my past,  by unmet, legitimate needs and deep hurts, allowed the need to "be completed" by a man that would for once love me the way Jesus loves the church, to become my "All in All"

I had put it up on a pedestal. I had made it my idol.

I had been dismissing what He, the Saviour had done for me... casually I would say, yes, I know I have hope in Him, for the future with Him, for Him to never leave me, for me to be united with Him in Heaven.... all those wonderful AMAZING and HUGE truths I had allowed to be diminished.. to be made small, because something was more important to me in the here and now.....

so I repented... I asked Him to forgive me for this and I took it down, the idol.
He removed the lie, the lie that I would only be whole when in a godly relationship with this amazing godly man, in a marriage with this follower of Christ. the one that would love me and cherish me, who I could respect and love and encourage, who together with me would want to follow Christ and serve Him....

I am not just a half of something. I am not the dismissed, discarded part of a whole that no longer exists... and don't get me wrong, I know that. I know it and yet.. somehow I had it all wrong.

so I have surrendered. again. on a deeper level I hope. I have resolved to take this desire and longing off that pedestal and put my Jesus back on it.

will it be easy to stick with this? no. will I feel lonely and overwhelmed and sad at times? yes. maybe.
but I believe, and my Hope is that He, who is my All in All, will be there for me. in a new way. in a deeper way.

I know, He won't let me down. I know it. because He never does...

Christ in me. The Hope of glory.

Love so amazing!!!