..ALMOST crashing.. and a bike in Holland..

such a whirlwind of activity and huge changes in the last 4 weeks..

getting married,
caring for aging loved ones,
tying up lose ends,
moving children across the ocean,
and finally getting back to where very soon my new life will start, for a little bit at least.

marveling at all God is doing, blessings so beyond anything I could have ever asked for or even imagined
and then. today. I almost came crashing down.
exhausted. dealing with a cold. realizing how much I will miss my kids, friends, my ministry and all that is familiar to me...

I almost did.

just "almost" because of what He, my Father has been teaching me to do in moments like these..

• don't go with your feelings

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

Jeremiah 17:9

• go back the Word. stand on the truth. remember all the Lord has done for you.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

John 1:1-3

instead of listening to all kind of discouraging thoughts and feelings, I chose to go to my reading for today..

this is what jumped out:

My heart is confident in you, O God;

    no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!

I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.

    I will sing your praises among the nations.

 For your unfailing love is higher than the heavens.

    Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

Psalm 108 : 1, 3-4

so here is my response :

I thank you Lord and praise you

for your unfailing and unending love and care

for your mercy, new every morning

for your grace, undeserved favour for me, a sinner

for my husband

for my children

for my friends

for your attention to detail ( working out all to perfection )

for your protection and provision ( no plane crashes, means to do all this )

for your healing power ( no vertigo, no headaches when traveling)

for your people ( friends connecting us to believers wherever we go )

for your church ( Holy Trinity Brompton, London England )

for your favour for my children ( Bekkie's room, roommate, new friends; a place to live, schooling, a bike for Laura, she is in Holland after all :) 

for your faithfulness in the past 

for your direction and guidance

I give you the future,

it is in your hands.

I might not know what it will look like,

but I know you.

through hardships in the past you have taught me to trust

seeking you I know I will find you

drawing near to you I know you will draw near to me

you are moving me on

and I would lie to say it doesn't make me sad

it hurts

but

I know there is a purpose

I know you will continue to use me

I know that you are faithful

I will stand on that.

I will cling to you and let you have your way

surrendering

it seems to be something one has to do daily

it's all about you

your glory

your will be done

in my life as it is is heaven.

there.. that's it.