.. celebrating the maker of the clouds...

.. read this yesterday: "The optimist expects clouds to have a silver lining. The faithful one simply celebrates the maker of the clouds.”

as I have come to know God more and more, as my faith in Him has grown over the years, my approach to "clouds" and "storms" and "torrential downpours" has changed dramatically...

I have met Him and I know that He cares about my troubles...

I have seen Him at work and I know there is nothing that He could not change and make better in a split second...

I am sure without a doubt that He always has my best interest in mind, and really, that only He can know what that means..

I have come to love Him more and more, as I understand His love for me more and more... I know about the safety I find in His arms, I know that looking to Him is what I have to do...

in His Word He reveals many things to me... about Himself and His plan for me...  He tells me to fix my eyes on Him, to focus on eternal things rather than on temporary things, he tells me that there will be troubles, but that He has overcome them.. He tells me that with Him all things are possible... that I can persevere, and that in the end He will bring me safely to His Heavenly Kingdom...

as I seek Him, I am in awe of Him more and more and love Him... nothing compared to how much He loves me yet still a love that is HUGE...

so, when the clouds appear, or more clouds, when a storm is brewing, I don't really change anything, I just snuggle a little deeper into my Daddy's arms, knowing that He will keep me safe, no matter what the storm will bring, accepting pain and suffering as a fact, not something to avoid at all cost by putting up self defence mechanisms like trying to manipulate and control situations or people....

I keep spending my time in His Word, in communion with Him, sharing my heart and all of myself.. trying to follow Him, as good as I can... and leaving the rest to Him...

I celebrate Him, the maker of the clouds, the maker of the sunshine and blessing in my life, because I know that in Him is where my hope is...

... I can't even walk without you holding my hand.....

such a dreadful 2 weeks.. a 5 week old dying suddenly from a common virus, a vivacious, godly friend losing a 9 year long battle with cancer.. both of them safely in Jesus' presence now..

leaving behind shock, shattered hearts, brokenness and sadness..

it will take a long time for those affected the most to find the healing they will need..

thankful that the healer is well known to them.. praying for them every day a privilege !

nothing compared to what the families are going through, we had our own struggles these past two weeks, almost losing our little dog, my companion, faithfully by my side through the greatest loss so far in my life, it would have been hard to lose her.. looks like she might be making it after all, and I am thankful for that too...

heartbroken for my mother who suffers so fighting the cancer that is trying to bring her down, feeling so helpless being so far away.. not even able to comfort her ..

"my boss" at the Living Hope Center going on a well deserved 6 months sabbatical, our last prayer meeting today.. so sweet a time to come into the presence of the One who is so well acquainted with all the suffering we can ever face.. there were tears and a sense of loss, if only temporary, yet still real..

praising Him together in song and prayer.. this is what spilled over from a heart abandoned  to the One who made us..

facing our sorrows, losses and trials, you oh Lord are the One that helps us to make it through one day at a time,
You, who is with us during our joyful, light and fluffy days, the meaningful and deep experiences of our lives, you are there when things do not work out the way we hoped, when sadness overwhelms our hearts and hope seems to elude us..

standing on the promises you have made, knowing you are faithful, always, eternally loving us with a love like no other, unconditional and never-ending you meet our deepest needs

Praising you in the storm oh Lord gives me the right perspective.. fixing my eyes on the mountain mover instead of the mountains in my life, allows me to refocus..

my heart overflows with gratitude, you ALONE are ALL I NEED... with thanksgiving I can give you all my sorrows, all my pain and sadness and you, like you promised give me that peace that surpasses all understanding and you guard my fragile heart... oh how precious you are my Jesus...

closing our time with this song... how fitting...

I can't even walk without you holding my hand

The mountain's too high

The valley too wide

Down on my knees I am learning to stand 

I can't even walk without you holding my hand

thank you for holding our hand.. always... all praise, glory and honor be yours forever and ever 

AMEN

..chest pain ... just "stress"... He is my strength and my defence...

lately I have been experiencing chest pain... quite a bit actually,  and I think I have to once again go and get that checked out..
I used to have it a lot of years ago and everything came back negative usually, "just" stress related they said..

when "the stress" left me a little over 5 years ago.. so did the chest pain... ha...

thinking about this on my 5 hour drive home yesterday I concluded that, I guess, there is quite some stress in my life.. or has been especially in the last 9 months..

a lawsuit pending that is quite high, for the "sins of the father"
a lien on a house
two moves in 6 months because of that
financial stress in re to that which hopefully gets resolved March 6
intervention in parent's lives to try and help them and the resulting back lash
a mother having cancer
a father having Parkinson's
a family issue added just a few months ago that surpasses all that has been there before in how difficult it is to deal with
one dog almost dying and now dealing with his kidney disease
and now the other one in critical condition as well

on the positive side..
my beautiful children
my ministry
my friends.. and.. of course..
I found him whom my soul loves...
which results in some, even though positive, yet stress... traveling back and forth and supporting him through some of his stresses..

waking up this morning, chest pain and all, this is what came to mind:

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

way back when the waves were far higher,  in the summer... I was given this amazing verse:

Surely God is my salvation;

    I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense;

    he has become my salvation.

since then, I have had such tremendous peace about all the financial stuff and so, how crazy is this, I have not even been praying about this much... just trusting the Lord for it.. surrendered to His will, knowing that He has my back.. I realized I do have to "list" it all and present it to Him like the scriptures tell me.. so this is what I did this morning..

no worries, I will go and get my heart checked out, but I am quite sure once again it is "just" the stress.. 

checking my email just now I had two notifications about 2 young children battling cancer that I pray for and a message about funeral arrangements for a 8 week old baby...

praying for all those needs and my clients and other people I know and love I am thanking God for His blessings.. I am thanking Him for allowing all this "stressful" stuff in my life because it does one thing.. one most important thing.. it drives me to my knees because there is no way to not see this:

without Him I CANNOT handle any of this.. with Him, I can have peace and joy and live my life reflecting Him to those around me.. and that's what it is all about anyways #SoliDeoGloria

.. Cancer, Parkinson's and other obstacles...

it seems like every day there is more stuff to deal with..
on top of the "regular" stuff like a mother that suffers from cancer,
a father that suffers from Parkinson's..
fallout from bad choices a father made, that are threatening to translate into huge losses,
dealing with dysfunction that, let's face it, left everyone in the family scarred..
the extra stuff from the last 3 days, really didn't need this..

it could be overwhelming...
but then again,
I am so very very blessed..
in church again today, after my pastor was away for a few weeks, I was traveling too and then I was sick last week..
so VERY GOOD to be worshipping with my church family again,
SO VERY, VERY GOOD to hear such amazing preaching from the Word of God..

in Matthew 5 this week there were, even though well known, some really good reminders..

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

 Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

 Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5: 3-11

the upside down world of my Jesus... gotta love it.. I for sure do..

poor in spirit, like spiritually bankrupt, knowing that there is nothing I can offer my God, no way for me to please in Him, to earn my way into a relationship with him, I find blessing that, because of knowing my need for Him and bowing my knee to Him, I am now a citizen of the Kingdom of heaven, a child of God Himself..

mourning my own sinfulness I have received forgiveness through what Jesus did on the cross, and there is now no longer any guilt or shame or condemnation... am I blessed? you bet!

meek, knowing that He is in control I can be humble and trust in Him, no striving necessary, puffing myself up or putting other's down, no pride, just humility, resting and trusting in the goodness of my beloved Father in Heaven.. even when things are scary and tough and not the way I want them to be, I do not have to worry... my joy can' be taken away...

hungering after His righteousness, passionate about being obedient, staying inside the boundaries of what He has laid out for me , I will be satisfied .., no need to go after my selfish wants and appetites.. I can find contentment and real joy..

extending forgiveness, helping and caring for  and giving to others, freely handing out the mercy I am receiving from God, mercy will come back to me from those around me.. 

no need to try and keep up appearances by making sure the outside is pure, I can be authentic and real, knowing that my heart has indeed been made pure by what my Jesus did on the cross for me..

being a peacemaker as opposed to being a peacekeeper ( one who avoids conflict at any cost ) entering into a conflict bringing God's grace and Jesus' legacy of reconciliation into it, pursuing peace as much as it is up to me.. I will be blessed..

last but not least... I am blessed to be persecuted..  

ha... well, let's see.. I am living for Him, I have a purpose greater than myself, because of His great mercy and grace, I am His and because of that I am "like the stench of death" to those that are perishing... so, I will be ridiculed, I will be rejected, dismissed and mistreated at times.. but hey, He is worth it.. with Him, I can handle it...

so, wow, worrisome news and turn of events the last few days, in regards to dear ones and important matters pertaining to my life.. yes, but......

I have ALL I NEED in "just" Him, my One and Only, Jesus Christ, God's only begotten Son.. wow, because, believe it or not, He loves me :)

.. in this world you will be..sad, disappointed, afraid, helpless...

in this world you will have trouble.
in this world you will be sad. disappointed. your heart will be broken.
in this world you will be afraid. you will be discouraged. and scared.
in this world things will turn out differently than you like.
in this world you will feel powerless and helpless.
in this world you will see loved ones make poor choices.
in this world it will be tough to make it through a day.
in this world things might look really bad for a very long time.
in this world things might just be so unfair.

but this is what He said:

that's all true but take heart. be of good cheer. I, who was there in the beginning, through me all things have been made, I, have overcome the world.

I have plans, to prosper, not to harm. to give HOPE and a future.
I am faithful. I never sleep nor slumber.
I am victorious. what the enemy means for evil, I WILL turn into good for those that love me.
I watch over your coming and going. my love is never-ending and I am all powerful.
none of my plans will be thwarted. I am sovereign. and I am on your side. I am for you.


I have people on this earth that will be like me to you.
I have people that will use their gifts from me to hold you up when you feel you can't.

this is what one of them has for you:

There is strength within the sorrow

There is beauty in our tears

And You meet us in our mourning

With a love that casts out fear

You are working in our waiting

You're sanctifying us

When beyond our understanding

You're teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood

You're faithful forever

Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined

Who could understand Your ways

Reigning high above the Heavens

Reaching down in endless grace

You're the lifter of the lowly

Compassionate and kind

You surround and You uphold me

And Your promises are my delight

Your plans are still to prosper

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood

You're faithful forever

Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

Even what the enemy means for evil

You turn it for our good

You turn it for our good and for Your glory

Even in the valley, You are faithful

You're working for our good

You're working for our good and for Your glory

Your plans are still to prosper

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood

You're faithful forever

Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

Thank you Jesus.

... in the morning when I rise.. GIVE ME JESUS..

waking up in the morning the first thing I do is to give all of me, my gratitude, my love and my worries to the One who is always right there with me..

so thankful for waking up hours before I have to leave the house..
thankful too that I do not have tons of responsibilities aka young children or something that would keep me busy in the morning..
with my puppies being more than content to sleep a little longer it doesn't matter just how long this takes..
I can take my time to cover everyone and everything in my first conversation with the lover of my soul...

it's good to acknowledge first thing that He alone is able to deal with what concerns me today..
it's good to surrender all that is going on in my life to Him who is in control of everything..

Hear my cry for help,

    my King and my God,

    for to you I pray.

 In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;

    in the morning I lay my requests before you

    and wait expectantly.

Psalm 5:2-3

it's good to go to Him in the morning, as I share my heart with Him, He in turn shares His with me..

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

    for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

    for to you I entrust my life.

Psalm 148:8

 Have compassion on your servants.

 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days

Psalm 90: 13-14

telling Him how much I love Him in the morning, asking Him to use me for His glory today, I turn my attention to His Word, expecting to hear from Him, to be comforted, affirmed, challenged or reminded, His Word never goes out without accomplishing something in me, 

what a blessing to serve Him, who is so intimately involved in my life.. who will bring to completion the work He began in me, who has laid out the good works for me already..

may I, by His grace be able to represent Him well today.. my God and my King..

I am forever grateful..

Satisfy us in the morning with Your love

That we may sing for joy

And be glad in all our days

Satisfy us in the morning with Your love

Match the days Lord of our sorrow with Your joy

May Your deeds be always known

To the ones you call your own

Match the days Lord of our sorrow with Your joy

May the favour of the Lord

Rest upon us and our land

And establish for us all

The work of our hands

Yes the work of our hands

Lord for us You have been a refuge from age to age

Before the mountains were formed

And the earth and the world brought forth

You are the everlasting Lord

May the favour of the Lord

Rest upon us and our land

And establish for us all

The work of our hands

Yes the work of our hands

~Steve Bell