when I first got saved, when my Lord opened my eyes to what He had done for me, that he saved me from being separated from Him for eternity because of my sins, by dying on the cross for me.. I quickly got into the Word any way I could.. soon I had my first favourite verse..
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose
Romans 8:28
throughout the many, almost 22 years of following Him, growing in the knowledge of Him in amazing ways, I am in awe, just how living and active His Word is, in awe of the fact that we will indeed never be able to fully plummet the depth of His Word and what it really means to us.
I have clung to this verse and others communicating the same principle..
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
Genesis 50:20
Yes, this anguish was good for me,
for you have rescued me from death
and forgiven all my sins.
Isaiah 38:17
the fact that no matter what comes our way, God has already sifted it through His loving hands, that He is sovereign over EVERYTHING, that His purposeful goodness informs what He allows to touch our lives.. always teaching, refining and making us more like Him, knowing Him more, loving Him more, trusting Him more...
so what's new..
let me try to explain.
looking back, life was relatively uncomplicated back then ( it feels funny to say that ).. never happy in my marriage, health issues my children had, but other than that things were normal and fine.. I had three wonderful daughters, life happened all around them, their school, our church, extended family, ( not always easy ) all kind of normal too..
in the last 6 years other than my marriage breaking apart and the fallout of that, many other very complicated things have been added that have made my life everything but uncomplicated..
suffering has shifted to many other areas, most of them not controllable at all, but has indeed led to perseverance, perseverance to character and character to hope.. that amazing hope that does not disappoint.. because it is not in any circumstance to change but in Him, the author and perfecter of my faith.. the one that promised to give me everything I needed for life and godliness..
so... there is one area that has been totally changed for the better : my marriage, my new marriage, the answer to all my prayers for this.. my marriage to a man that daily far exceeds anything I could ever have dreamed up.. and I am so very, very thankful for that...
the few disagreements we have had so far in our life together, ( all of them only happened because of scars we both still carry from the rejection we have suffered throughout all of our lives ) .. as much as we both would rather not have to go through these hours of strive.. we realized something... each time, when forgiving each other and talking through what happened, a much deeper understanding and a deeper love springs forth... that blows our minds.. one thing the Lord showed me is that in those moments I respond with fear.. fear of losing what we have, our love, our wonderful life together.. He, the Lord spoke to me so clearly about this, as if I could hear His voice..
amazing.. urging me to trust Him for this like I have decided to do for all those monumental difficulties I am facing continually.. to trust and not be afraid, since He, the Lord , is my strength and my defence, my salvation, and.... He is for us.. for our marriage to be what He wants it to be..
another thing He showed me by allowing those sad hours was to hear later that my husband was actually praying for me throughout the whole time.. when I was afraid to be rejected again, this man of God was asking the Lord to comfort me because he didn't think he could.. he trusted God to be enough for what he wanted for me to know.. that I am loved ...
these few incidents have driven home the truth on a much deeper level.. we have not had another disagreement and I really don't want one.. but I am sure that we will come out of it the same we have the other times.. healed just a little bit more, loving each other even more, aware of our sensitivities a little bit more and loving and trusting Jesus MORE as well.. it's a win - win situation..
because the One that is in control is our loving Abba Father... and He is just the BESTEST!
No comments:
Post a Comment