.. reprieve.. and return.. He will carry me...

had a 3 day weekend away with my girls.. long awaited and then here... out  of nowhere.. time just flies.. it is exactly 3 weeks until school starts.. just saying..

did some sight seeing, a lot of walking, taking pictures, some eating of special foods for the area, a little bit of shopping and a lot of card playing.. one or two meltdowns in the very beginning and then mostly harmony and a lot of laughter...

time and money well invested I would say.. a blessing for me to be able to spend time with all my three daughters, rejoicing they can be so very very silly together.. giggling and giggling like little school girls .. I love it...

walking along the streets in a city like Chicago, the memories are prone to come up.. and they do... my life here in North America so far was spent with one man.. there are no other memories that come up.. and even if not all of them have been so great.. it still hurts to have lost the "here and now" and the future too..

back home, more dentist appointments and laundry and all that jazz.. back to work tomorrow and back to some of the hard stuff...

made me think of one of my fav scripture passages...
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...  (2 Corinthians 4: 7-9 )

hope, that's what this has communicated to me so many, many times.. today... something else struck me though..

hard pressed...on every side... not crushed, but still, hard pressed, on every side.. that is a lot of pressure.. actually, we are only not crushed because of the "all-surpassing power from God".. without it, the being pressed hard from every side would very well crush us... so even though we are not crushed, thanks to God's power, the pain inflicted is still the same..
perplexed... " full of difficulty or confusion or bewilderment"...  full of so much of this to lead to despair.. we do not need to despair because we have the power of God.. are we still bewildered and confused because of the difficulties we face?? you betcha..
persecuted.. ewww... don't like this word.. someone going after you, to hurt you, harm you and leave you, rejected, crumbled in a heap of destruction and sadness... we know we will not be abandoned by the One whose power is in us.. abandoned by others though.. for sure..
struck down.. wow... so, lying on the floor, struck down, violently.. not very nice... and yet, not destroyed.. able, by that power of God in us, to get up and keep going... keep doing God's will, keep trying, trusting, obeying, loving, forgiving... until the next blow hits.. it won't destroy, but it might very well knock us down..

if I do not know who this God with the all-surpassing power is... I might get discouraged to the point of giving up...
it's helps to know Him, know Him well... know who He is and that He does what He says...

Sometimes I wonder if my beating heart has a reason

The thought of breathing only takes my breath away

I've spent so many nights wrestling with this feeling

Do I have the strength to make it through the day

But I was never meant

To walk this road alone

I can always trust you

When you say

I will carry you

Be your strength

And pull you through

Reach for me

And take my hand

We will pray

And we will stand

In a world

Crying out for peace

Let your heart be strong

For when I am weak

You will carry me

Sometimes You wonder if the road you're on has a reason

It's hard to go on, when you just don't know

We can shoulder all the weight of life between us

Until the fear of what we cannot see is gone

Cause we were never meant

To walk this road alone

We are bound together

When we say...

 by Michael W Smith

He carries me.. by His all surpassing power and because He loves me... more than I will ever be able to understand..