Saturday, November 15, 2014

.. struck down, but not destroyed :)



so today I went back to my Condo and started packing .. going to move in a little over a week and it hit me when I was walking up the stairs...

six months ago I was busy getting ready to move into my new place... and even though some of the stuff that is making me move back now had already happened, I was excited and full of hope that in the end all would turn out as planned ..

truth is that it is all working out as planned... not as I planned it.... but still...

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. 
Proverbs 19:21

I had made good plans.. I had prayed about it and the reason to move there was to be wise with my money and adjust to changing circumstances.. an "empty nester" ( at least most of the time) didn't need a 3 bedroom house anymore.. or so I thought..

so. was this not God's plan? did I make a wrong choice? 
there is reason to think that because I am ending up where I started and I am kind of thankful for that.. ( weird, but that's how God can work when we fully surrender to His will... he turns what we didn't want into a blessing... mind boggling )
yet.. I don't think that my plans and decisions were wrong..

without having made those I would not have gone through the turmoil and the stress.. the upheaval and the fearful moments.. I would not have learned to rely on God in yet another area of my life... I would not have experienced Him taking my fear and giving me a peace that was SOOOO NICE and amazing... I still can't quite fathom it..

so I don't think that this was not God's plan... I believe as much as He is not the one creating the complications, He purposefully allows them.. out of His Goodness and Love... for those that love Him He will take all the puzzle pieces and turn them into a beautiful picture..

a picture of His love and provision, of His care and compassion.. of His might and splendour and majesty... 

I know Him more, I believe Him more and I am excited about what He is doing more.. I trust Him more, I rely on Him more and I worship Him more... I can share and relate to others more... and all of that because He, in His grace and mercy caught me when I was falling... again... He never leaves those that are His, He never forsakes us... He loved us enough to give His Son... will He not give us everything else we need??? I know He does... beyond a shadow of a doubt..



But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 
2 Corinthians 4:7-9

AMEN

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

.. light and momentary troubles.....

what a grey and yucky day.. very likely just one of many, many more to come in the next few months..

assaulted by all kinds of scary news in all kinds of different areas of my life, sometime it takes a little more "willpower / fixing my eyes on Jesus" to stand firm on what I know is true..

in my walk with the Lord I have learned that I am a lot closer to succumbing to taking my eyes off the One who is my hope, than I would like to be..

today was on of these days..

emails and texts and phone calls.. all the stuff I have to do in the next 3 weeks looming over me and making me want to just hide.....

I am so thankful that on that day, when Jesus opened my eyes to my need for Him and saved me, the Holy Spirit took residence inside of me.. because on days like this one I would be so tempted to point the finger and get all mad at all those people and circumstances that make me feel the way I do right now..

so thankful that because of Him I am not into that... if there is anyone to blame, forgiveness is the answer..
if there seems to be no strength to face what lies ahead ... Jesus will give it to me.. and I am able to take the next step relying solely on Him ..
if fear wants to take over, I choose to believe in what He promises me in His Word.. and hope replaces the worries...

I am going to have to move again in a little less than three weeks and a lot has to be done in order for that to happen.. the move itself is the opposite of what I had been planning.. a well thought through and prayed over plan thwarted by circumstances resulting from disregard and selfishness on the part of someone who should have had my back rather than exposing me to this..
the underlying situation surrounding the last 6 months of chaos is heating up and that could translate into real loss.. which in turn would leave me in a rather vulnerable spot..
family members struggling with pretty scary health problems.. and the list goes on..

and yet...

where does my help come from?
my helps comes from the Lord of Heaven and Earth
He, who holds me in the palm of His hand,
He, who is the Lord of lords and the King of kings,
He whose plans can not be thwarted,
He who is all powerful and all knowing ,
He, who came, and even when I was His enemy, lifted me out of the pit,
out of darkness into His marvellous light,
He, who suffered and bled and died..so that I could have a relationship with Him,
He, who rose again and defeated death...
He, the Lover of my soul, He loves me and cares for me in a way I cannot even comprehend..

so... grey day, rain, chaos and stress.. it's all nothing compared to the joy of knowing Him,
of snuggling into His arms of love... of putting my head on His shoulder, able now to let go of all the temporal... and allowing waves of eternity wash over me... absorbing His very tangible love..

I  am blessed indeed ! 
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

AMEN