oh how much I love Him... my Jesus that is..
He is my King and my friend, my brother and my Father... the lover of my soul...
what a wonderful name it is, the name of Jesus Christ my King..
NOTHING compares to this... and NOTHING can stand against...
one of the things I love the most about Him is that He is so faithfully committed to teach me and make me more like Him until He takes me home..
He will bring to completion the good work He started in me ... no matter how much I might resist, kicking and screaming, or how dense and slow I might be.. blows me away.. so thankful..
ok, so here is the newest revelation... the newest thing He has impressed on me...
it all starts out with the word "absorb"....
"To drink in; to suck up; to imbibe; as a spunge, or as the lacteals of the body." ( Merriam-Webster Dictionary from 1828 )
(as a sponge, ha,... does the sponge have a choice I am wondering, and no, obviously not..)
as I have been spending time with both my father and shortly after that with my daughters, this word just kept on popping into my mind..
absorbing, like a sponge, what is happening around me, the good and the bad...
the good intentionally, storing it up in my long time memory, to take with me back to the place where I miss them,
the bad, maybe at first not so willingly, but then, a decision.
to absorb, meaning, it won't go anywhere from me..
I will not retaliate,
deflect,
blame-shift,
manipulate,
control,
... none of that,
no self defense mechanisms...
just absorb...
not in the way it would be done without my Jesus though...
not holding on to it in bitterness..
no, rather I do what my Jesus has done for me,
dying on the cross when He absorbed MY sins, suffering, experiencing pain and separation from the Father, He just took it in, soaked it up... took care of it, once for all... and it cost Him..
and so, if it costs me..
I am soaking up the pain,
the sin
and I forgive...
because I know another thing I can count on..
that's that He has come to heal and bind up the broken-hearted...
I know that the pain inflicted on me will be taken care of by my very best friend..
Jesus, the Healer
He has done it in the past and He has now shown me that I can be intentional. from the moment the pain comes at me.... I can take it in, absorb it, and I don't need to do what I have seen those close to me do, trying to defend themselves, futile attempts that just multiply the hurt and dysfunction..
through losses and pain in my life I have learned that yes, I will walk through life with some sadnesses that won't go away, but if I am filled with the Holy Spirit, my eyes fixed firmly on the One who gave His life so I could have an eternal relationship with Him, love, peace and joy are my constant companions... the fruit of that Spirit inside me, permeating me as I am walking through the pain and sadness..
as I know my Lord more and more and even in His suffering, I hope to break the chain..
the dysfunctional passing on sin and hurt from generation to generation,
it stops right here, as far as it is up to me, I will pursue peace, I will gladly accept the pain and not point it back ... trusting in this:
I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, BUT showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
the first part of that verse might have been my past, but, thanks to the Lord I do NOT have this to be my reality, my legacy .... the second part is what is available to me ..
and I will praise you Lord for this, from now to eternity..
absorbing hurt, unfair situations and plain evil... because with you I CAN...
