today was another one of those days. days we all have.. sometimes more of them, sometimes less.
but we all have them.
living life, walking through troubling times, relying on my Jesus to be there with me at all times, there are still days that are a bit tougher than others..
so today, today was the Pre Trial Conference of .. you guessed it, the upcoming trial.
as I am sitting here, listening to a playlist I made 3 years ago, a playlist that helped me keep my eyes fixed on Him when one of those tidal waves hit, when the reality of what was going on against me, in a situation I have never had any control over that should really not be happening to me but it is, when that reality hit in a big way totally throwing off all my plans...
fear erupted and it would not leave me alone.. until a few weeks into it God so OBVIOUSLY used a scripture to communicate peace to my heart.. I am now facing this to come to a final conclusion.
I might, only by God intervening in a miraculous way, walk away unscathed, or.. which is more likely, will lose my material security..
nevertheless, that peace He spoke into my soul 3 years ago is still there..
He surely is my salvation, I will trust and NOT be afraid. He, the Lord Himself is my strength and my defense and He has indeed become my salvation.
I know that I will not need to fight in this battle, I just have to stand firm, hold my position and see the salvation of the Lord on my behalf.. I do not need to be afraid or dismayed, I just have to go our against them and He will be with me.
see, no matter what the outcome of this trial will be, ultimately He who forms the light and creates the darkness, who brings prosperity and creates disaster, He uses what others have intended for evil for the good of many.... and for His glory....
while this is going on another totally different disaster struck 10 days ago, we are still reeling from this one but again, He, who is sovereign over all creation holds us in the palm of His hand.
in it all He has been teaching me and encouraging me to walk, one step at a time, looking to Him, focusing on truth, the truth that I am indeed a child of the One True King... and nothing, nothing at all can separate me from Him...
looking back I am thankful for Him giving me a new "hobby" through all this, because I needed in order to be sane to memorize those encouraging, full of truth scriptures... and so now, when everything inside me wants to become one big ball of fear I just turn to His Word.. and memorize some more..
this is the verse I tackled today:
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth! He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable.... :)
there are a few more verses in this passage and I will get those memorized over the next few days...
you see, His Word is sharper than a double edged sword and it comes in and works... it brings the peace that surpasses all understanding and guards my heart and my mind and so I do not need to dissolve into a panic attack...
I know that He is here, He is binding up the broken hearted, He comforts and protects.. in His steadfast love He has compassion on me, His unfailing love for me will never be shaken, nor will His covenant of peace be broken.... EVER...
and... like He did for my Mama, He will bring me safely into His Heavenly Kingdom... on that day that was ordained before time.....
so.... what can men do to me????????
Nothing.
All Praise be to HIM!
