Monday, January 18, 2016

... chill... He got this... ( you )



great sermon yesterday by a man on fire for God..
the preacher, a man who is going to be planting a new Harvest Bible Chapel in Grenada sometime this year..
having gone through trouble in his life, like we all have or still are or soon will, He chose to preach about a beautiful verse in a beautiful Psalm..

Be still, and know that I am God.
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth!
Psalm 46:10

his points, be "still" -> calm, relax, because God is good, let go, let Him take care of it.
recognize that God IS good.. we only can when we know Him..
and we can.. know Him that is.. He has revealed Himself in His Word and He Himself, the Holy Spirit lives in us.. 
so we can know Him.. and therefore be able to trust Him..
lastly, he challenged us to rejoice.. when trouble comes..because God is more than able to deal with the trouble and His purposes are always for us.. worship Him, because He deserves it..
it takes our eyes of the trouble and makes us look to God, lifting His name on high makes us acknowledge who He is, the Ruler of all, the Sovereign God of the Universe and our Father, who means so well for us..

leaving very encouraged I still couldn't quite shake another thought I had..
sometimes what we are hoping for, -when we are leaving it up to God and live life as obediently as we can, by His strength, worshipping Him and trusting Him, -still does not turn out the way we want it to..

sometimes the hope in God changing the circumstances is lost forever.
sometimes someone dies.. sometimes someone walks away for good.. that's when we realize that our hope is not only in this amazing, most powerful God changing our circumstances ( which He does sometimes )  but it is in Him.. in Who He is.. in our relationship with Him and how much He loves us..
that, like His Word promises, He works ALL things for the good of those that love Him.. 
that have been chosen according to HIS purpose.. ( it just might look very different from what we are expecting )

reading an old blog post of mine this is what I found:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2

what a fabulously mighty God we serve.. His will cannot be thwarted, He is the One who put the stars into place, He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End....

In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.
Isaiah 63:9

He is both, the Almighty God, and the caring Abba Father... my Daddy... when I feel sorry for myself in all this turmoil He gently holds me close and tells me He understands...  He dries my tears and fills my heart with HOPE...

we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5

profound truth we can stand on.. something that like our Lord will never change. it was true then and it is true now.. and tomorrow.. and every day..

in the end it is all about Him, and the fact that we are invited to have an intimate relationship with Him... He will always be right there with us, He will change some things and allow others.. He will calm some storms and give us peace and strength to be calm throughout some other storms...
ultimately He will take us safely to His heavenly Kingdom and that no one can ever take away from us ...

Thankful!









Saturday, January 16, 2016

...will you let him set you to flight?



children of the day.. a study in 1&2 Thessalonians..
picked it up a while ago and have finally started it last week.
bought and downloaded the video sessions that go with it today and knew Beth Moore would have some hidden treasures for me there...

I remember doing Beth Moore studies when I was heading up the Bible study at my church..
remember we had women coming especially for her studies and others not coming because of her..

I have been fascinated with the way this exuberant southern woman could make you look at scriptures from so many different perspectives.. I LOVE her  "Southern drawl" and her passion for the Word..

so, this afternoon, as my husband was taking a nap, I turned on my computer and started watching the first video...

I picked this study for no overly particular reason.. I liked what I read on the back, I have not studied Thessalonians before and so I got it..

and there, and it shouldn't surprise me at all, it was.. did what she was talking about ever hit home..

a thorough teacher like she is, digging deep into the context, she started out looking at who Paul was traveling with on his journey to Thessalonica and how those men ended up together..

suggesting  the "sharp disagreement" with his ministry partner Barnabas had left a  'God - ordained' hole that was now being filled by Silas and Timothy.. multiplying the evangelizing efforts of the early church... two teams instead of one....

looking at Paul's relationship with Timothy as communicated by him later on she suggested something that hit me right into the middle of my sad and grieving heart....

did the loss of such close a friendship like that of Barnabas and Paul, traveling together, ministering together, open up Paul's heart to meet someone that would become so very special to him..

this is what Paul says about Timothy in Philippians 2: 19-22

But I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, so that I also may be encouraged when I learn of your condition.  For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare.  For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus.  But you know of his proven worth, that he served with me in the furtherance of the gospel like a child serving his father.

changes in our lives, no matter the reason for it, good or bad, sometimes open the way for something new the Lord has in mind for us.. 

I know that this is true because I have experienced it before..
the break up of my marriage opened me up to fulfill a calling on my life.. Hope for Life Pregnancy Center is proof of that..
the break up of my marriage and the loss of it all opened me up to meet a truly godly man that God is using to heal the deepest areas of my soul.. I am so in awe of what God is doing here...

so might my moving away from what I know and love, moving away from my core group of precious soul sisters, my ministry, be another one of those changes..
is there a calling waiting to be explored and to be fulfilled ? 
is there someone I will meet that will become a kindred spirit and a precious friend that I would not have met otherwise?

time will tell, but hey, she had me in tears today and in my economy that is a good thing..

one last thing she said... He, God the Father, will set us to flight if we let Him..
we will soar on wings like eagles to new horizons.... and sometimes He has to pry us away from what we know to get us to let go ...

interesting. like I said. a different perspective..  


Sunday, January 10, 2016

...quietly submit to the trials and tribulations.. :O



Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can't see it. So quietly submit to be painted. 
C.S. Lewis

another Sunday, another opportunity to worship with the family God has placed us in .. another sermon about suffering, I think this was the last one in the series "Why me?" 
timely to hear about what we need to focus on if we want to be able to see God in our trials..

as Christians, children of God I heard a wise man say one day that we are either in, have just come out, or will enter into a time of trial and suffering.. it's because He, our Father in Heaven is committed to making us holy, more like Him, and He will not stop until He takes us home one day..
this man, James McDonald, went on to say that if you were not experiencing any trial for a long time you might want to test yourself and see if you are really one of His children..

so, sermons about suffering are always timely.. learning to not try to run from it but embrace it, knowing that He who allowed it has only our best interest in mind, will never hurt us or harm us, learning to look to Him, not become angry, bitter, full of doubt, turn away or try to control the situation.. that's always a very good thing..  God the Father always is all about accomplishing His purposes for us, He wants to teach us to trust Him, let us receive His comfort so we can comfort others, take our eyes of ourselves and minister to others instead, He sometimes just plain will use our suffering to show His power and glory.. not fighting this but accepting and surrendering is what we need to do..

last sermon of the series focused on how we can make sure we are able to see God in our suffering ...

there were steps like confessing sin immediately,  surrendering completely ( wow, being content in our suffering and accepting it fully) loved the next one: thinking biblically.. filtering our thoughts through the verse in Philippians 4.. whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.... standing firm on what we know is true.. no matter how things around us look or feel, endure patiently and, last but not least: struggle corporately...
ha...

having had the immense privilege of being a part of a place where this was happening at all times, I guess I had not realized how hard life would be if this part was not working...
if there was no one near to come walk alongside you, to encourage and uphold you through prayer, through pointing to scriptures and just to love and to care ..
I was aware that this is what has carried me through all the many years of being a follower of Christ and His refining work in my life.. have enjoyed the privilege of walking alongside other believers, sister and brothers in Christ and those the Lord has allowed me to share my faith with through the Pregnancy Center..

so today, as I wrote down the last point, I thanked Him, that this indeed has been my experience for so long , also realizing that having kind of lost this family and not quite connected in this way with the new one has had me in this rather difficult stage over the last little while..

so thankful that today I got to talk to a few more people at the church and new things will start up soon.. 
knowing and believing firmly that God is in TOTAL control of ALL my circumstances at ALL times, I know He wanted this like this.. I can see why as well, or at least a little bit anyways..
growing together as husband and wife without this kind of network of caring brothers and sisters had us look to each other only in those times of need ..  and so we failed, we succeeded, we cried and we met each other on levels far deeper than ever before.. what a blessing.. hard at times but oh so good.. the Lord turning the difficult into something very good for both of us, because we love Him, because we have been called according to His amazing purpose..

is it going to be a struggle to always be patient, surrendered and focusing on Him and being content in all the ongoing struggles and future trials? oh for sure... but.. I know that He, the Daddy in Heaven has our backs and His plans are perfect.
I know His intentions and I am thankful that He will not give up making us more holy each day..

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;  for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.
1 Peter 1: 15-16


Thursday, January 7, 2016

.. God's refuge is not from suffering.. say what?

one of the things that changed in my life because of the " big change" ( the break down / up of my marriage) was that I, who would have never ever thought I would ever ever do that, got a tattoo...

in the meantime I have a few..

the second one I got is on my right foot... it's quite beautiful or so I think anyways, I love it especially because it makes me sing every time I lay eyes on it.. ( I know, I am a bit crazy )

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path"...

I love this song, I love this Psalm, I love the Psalms, I love the Word.. it is, as it promises, a light unto my path..


today was such a roller coaster kind of a day.. got the news my mother was in the hospital again, pneumonia again ( I guess lung cancer does not help with the health of one's lungs ) ,  called her today and found some other distressing stuff out about my family.. nothing new, yet sad nonetheless... again, nothing I can do but pray..
my little one taking off tonight, back to Europe, not sure if I will be able to visit her this semester or not.. depending on the whole immigration situation that,  lets just say is a bit complicated..
got a text that something looked like it finally worked out.. just for it to be the total and utterly depressing opposite..
to top it all off there was some trouble in paradise later on in the day.. and as much as I know that God has healed many of the wounds of the rejection and hurt my new husband and I both experienced when our marriages broke up, we are both extremely vulnerable still.. not that easy...

I guess Satan had it in for us today.. even more than he usually does..

so sad and lost and broken up, all I could do was ask the Lord what it was that He wanted from me?
what it was I was missing? what it was that I had to do differently?

then it dawned on me.. not to say that I have arrived, far from it, not to say that I am doing it all right.. but.. it's not about that.

there is no more drawing closer, asking for more wisdom, memorizing more scripture, praying more, studying and meditating more.. yes, there will be a growing of the fruit of the Spirit over time and God will continue the good work of making me more like Him He started 21 years ago... and yet..
( and in a moment like this I find this even more heartbreaking )
there is NO escaping suffering ...

it kills me in moments like these because it makes me see that I do quite like to live believing that I can finally figure it out and tell my kids how to do it..

and again, I know that chains have been broken, generational sin is not being handed down, all thanks to Jesus, but.. this remains the truth: "in this world you will have trouble "..

read this tonight by Elizabeth Elliott: God's refuge for His people is not from suffering and death, but from final and ultimate defeat.. and this one: God did not exercise His omnipotence to deliver Jesus from the cross, nor will He exercise it to deliver us from tribulations..

shucks.. I do not like this at all, especially when the suffering seems so unbearable...

makes me think of a day in September 2001.. the day the Women's Bible study at my church started again, it was 2 days after September 11.. I remember asking one of the staff members to talk to the women about what had happened on that day... this was  my first year of heading this up and I felt inadequate to find the right words for such a tragic event.

all I remember was that this amazing woman of God shared with us one scripture .. this is what it says:
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.
To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
2 Timothy 4: 18

and yes, He will comfort us, He does hear our cries.. sometimes He rescues us right out of the situation.. sometimes all gets better and resolved... but sometimes, that's just what it is.. 
so.. as much as the pain wants me to try and escape.. as much as I for sure do not want my girls to have to go through pain like this, He alone knows why He allows this all......
all I can do is crawl right back into His arms... let Him apply His healing touch and trust Him.. for the  good the bad and the utterly painful...

tears. they are just part of life. until we finally get to that place where there will be none of this anymore.. and that's where He will bring us... safely.
and for that I am thankful, even in the midst of the hurt.




Wednesday, January 6, 2016

.. and don't be wishing you were somewhere else.....


I do like TimeHop, that app that reminds us of what we posted on this day in the years before..  I blogged a lot 5 years ago, still working through all the stuff that was going on.. the fallout of a broken marriage still so difficult to deal with at times.. and so pretty much every day there is one of those posts for me to read through again.. and yes, I do...

I like to be reminded because it leads to thanksgiving and praise for where I am today, how God has rescued me and used what was intended for evil for the good in my life.... more importantly though, it proved to me today, again, that the Word really is alive.. it impacts us depending where we are, it always applies to us personally and it never goes out in vain... it is active and sharp as a double edged sword.. wonderful.. I love it so..

so this blog post from 5 years ago.. someone had given me the following verse the day before in response to me sharing just how hopeless and hurt I was..

And don’t be wishing you were someplace else  ( or with someone else ). Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. 
1 Corinthians 7:17 The Message

it amazed me then and helped me on the road to accepting the status quo, embracing it as God's will, learning to be thankful for it and relying on Him alone to bring me through and work out His perfect plan in my life..

5 years later, I can see what He was doing .. in many ways He has restored what the locusts had eaten, so grateful for the godly man I am married to now..

and yet, being reminded of that verse was what God had for me today.. you see, yesterday was a rather bleak and sad day for me.. I get those, and I know it is okay to have them.. it all started with me reading a scripture that reminded me of my best friend: 

Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
and the sweetness of a friend comes from her earnest counsel.
Proverbs 27:9

I know I am grieving and I am not one to dismiss and push away those healthy tears.. feeling the losses of the relationships the Lord has blessed me with over the last 20 years I was just plain sad..
.. "not wishing I was someplace else" it says....  not wishing to be back in my church, back at work in the ministry the Lord had placed on my heart.. back with my soul sisters of so many years, those that have walked through life with me, and I with them for so long... not wishing for that.. hmmm..

because , where I am right now is God's place for me.

there is really nothing else that needs to be said.. love how the Word just comes in and gives me that attitude adjustment .. 

instead of wallowing in the reality of what I don't have, ( even though it's hard... ) I am choosing to live, obey, love and believe right here... it's what my Jesus wants me to do..

praying for the new church, the new pastors and all the wonderful people serving Him in this place.. asking Him to allow me to become a blessing by loving and obeying and living and serving here.

I am excited for all the things that are lined up... worship service tonite, party with the pastors on Sunday ... Women's Bible study starting up next week.... I know that He, who has me where He wants me, will weave me into the fabric of this place where I can serve and bring glory to Him... all in His time.. 



Sunday, January 3, 2016

Grace...Forgiveness and this NEW THING....

sometimes when drawing close to my Daddy, He shows me brand new things.. exciting things, mind boggling things... and other times, it seems it's something "old" , knew that already ...  but then He chisels away another layer of it and "tada" : it's something brand new... 
so thinking of the story of Redemption as it unfolds throughout the Bible, I know it  is the most amazing story, a story that only our God could have come up with...

Grace, the unmerited favor granted to an undeserving mankind... extended to reconcile us with the Father, His just and holy wrath poured out on the sinless Son... debt paid, redemption for all those that believe... Grace lived out through Jesus' sacrifice to give us the one tool we need in order to be able to live a life of love and unity... live the way God intended for us to live....

Jesus, when asked which was the most important commandment said this: "The most important one is this: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength'.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” ( Mark 12: 29-31)

everyone knows that without forgiveness loving one another is a rather difficult thing to do.... that's why Jesus teaches His disciples to pray like this: 
 "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."  and then goes on to say: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." ( Matthew 6:12, 14-15)

know all this and lived it all out ... was sinned against and forgave. love instead of bitterness filled my heart and I was in awe. living through hard times, taking one step at a time all possible because He in His grace forgave me and taught me to forgive. ...

things changed since because even though through forgiveness  reconciliation was possible, restoration didn't happen necessarily .. but God knew why... 
because see.. He was doing a new thing... and that new thing was going to be so much better. a relationship that would still need forgiveness and grace to work, but this time, and that's the new and wonderful thing, we both are looking to Him, are striving to be obedient to Him... He IS the third strand, He IS the center of the relationship and that's where the blessing is. 
so love flows... continues to flow... strengthens and deepens.. It's quite amazing actually. 
To Him be all the Praise and Glory and Thanksgiving !