.. and HE entered this world clothed in baby skin.....

sitting here with my laptop, right next to my Christmas tree, my little puppy dog on my lap I am listening to some German Christmas songs...

it's snowing outside and it is cozy and warm in here..

thinking about the miracle of Christmas..

Jesus, the Son, who was with God, who was God, through who all things were made and all things were made for Him...  there was nothing made that was not made by Him and for His glory...
that Jesus, because of the Father's great love for us, He came and He entered the world..
He entered human baby skin and was born.. small, crying, helpless, in a stable..
because there was no room for them in the Inn....


He came, knowingly embracing His purpose.. living life amongst us, all man AND all God all at once.. knowing that He would give His life as a ransom for many..
that having lived life here on earth, being tempted but not having sinned He was to be and became the ultimate sacrifice, to pay for sin once and for all for all who the Father would give Him, who would believe in Him... even though they had not seen Him, who would love Him and worship Him and honor Him...

listening to the church bells on the album my mother would play on Christmas Eve right before we were allowed to come into the room.. listening to the words so clearly stating the truth I am marveling that right now she is seeing Him... and it brings tears to my eyes..

truth is we are missing her. and we will miss her more when Christmas is here.. the rest of my family will be celebrating at my parents place in Switzerland and they will feel the void so much more than we will.. after all, my Mama never made it here, to my new home with my new husband...

I am sad she is no longer with us, I am thankful that what we believe in is truth and that therefore we will see her again.
I am sad also because of how easily people will like and embrace the Good News of the arrival of the little baby Jesus, and how much today they reject all that He came for... He came, because we NEED a Savior... we all have fallen short of what it takes to have eternal life with God... we all deserve to spend eternity forever separated from Him, in a place called hell...

those people forget that in order to claim Him as our Savior we also have to accept Him and bow before Him as our Lord...
He has revealed Himself and His plan in His Word... and no... we have not evolved beyond what He put together for eternity..
His commands still are as true as they were 2000 or more years ago... all of it.....

when 22 1/2 years ago He finally opened my eyes one thing was absolutely clear to me right away ... there is no place for "Cafeteria Christianity"... you cannot pick and choose what you would like to believe is true... it either is all true or none of it is...

so this Christmas... as my mother is able to see clearly... let's marvel at who He really is, Jesus, Emmanuel, Mighty God, Everlasting Father the Prince of Peace and let us OBEY Him !!

joy???? seeing through the lenses of the loss....

" We as the older women need to..."... some well meaning lady said to me a little while ago...

and all I could think was :"what?????  older women????" "speak for yourself, lady, I am not old"....

or am I?

my mother, after her mother had passed away said to me that this meant, amongst other things,  that she was now the next in line to go... right.. so, now that my mother has passed away I am the next in line....

I am someone who has children that could be mothers, someone who doesn't have a mother anymore and so, I guess, I most definitely might be moving into that category... older women...

can we maybe call it more mature... wiser... a little more seasoned.. please :)

ok.. it doesn't matter really, because the truth is, as we walk through this life, as we are encountering different issues and trials we do become seasoned... scarred ... it seems as we age and mature sorrows are added... I know from my own experience that they are not drowning out my joy, since this joy is not rooted in my circumstances but rather in my relationship with my Savior and my Heavenly Father... through what He did for me on the cross... but sorrows are added, a profound sadness does come with living in a broken world..

I know that I am extremely blessed to not have had to add many sorrows early on in my life.. but I have been scarred quite a bit.. through my own choices, the choices of others and just plain life..

I have heard things like "when your mother dies your life will be forever altered.. experiences will be classified in before that day and after..."

I am not sure I really feel that way but I figured something out... I most definitely see life through the lenses of this loss... my point of view has changed... I know how life goes on without someone as important as a mother..

maybe that's why I can't really live life the same anymore... there is not one situation I encounter, nice or not so nice that is not somehow thought about through the lenses of the fact that my mother is not there anymore..

things she would have liked, like a beautiful sunset, a new pillow for my living room- she would have loved to see at least a picture of it- a new thought or breakthrough... some knowledge or wisdom gained, 

things she would have had compassion for, things she would not have liked, even the things she would have gotten angry about.. I see them, I experience them and I see it through what my mother would have said or felt about them... so she is always on my mind.. and with it the sadness, the reality of being separated, even if it is only for a time, until I will join her in Heaven...

sorrow and joy, sadness and blessing, gratitude and suffering...

all of those are part of our lives, and, they can be, or maybe even should be, happening at the same time..

blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted ..

joy even though it is inexpressible and glorious , given to me by God Himself, given to me in abundance still does not cancel out my grief and my sadness.

His comfort is what allows for joy amidst the sadness, the loss and the grief...

His comfort, His arms tightly wrapped around me, His love and caring and mercy and grace.. that's what allows for the joy not to be drowned out...

He lifts me out of the fog of the deep wound inflicted by a loved one ripped away through death.. so I can fix my eyes on the truth that she is indeed where I know without a shadow of a doubt I will go.. 

and my sorrow, even though still so very real in every moment of my existence here, is not taking away my gratitude for her salvation, so late in her life, my thankfulness for the love we shared, for even the hard times we had together, for how blessed I am to have had a mother like her.

so what do I do with this.. two things I think..

1. I am more aware of how precious my loved ones are. how precious the time I have with them is. I am more intentional about it, and..

2. I do have to choose to keep my eyes fixed on what is eternal, because, if I didn't quite understand it before, I do understand it better now... what is seen is temporal, it WILL COME TO AN END... what is unseen however is eternal... never ending.. 

my heart once again is filled with awe and such gratitude, it cannot be contained... what He did for me.. and my mother.. is PRICELESS..... instead of spending eternity forever separated from His love, I will get to spend it with Him... and my Mama..

listening to Christmas music already this is what comes to mind:

What can I give Him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

Yet what I can I give Him: I will give my heart.

serving Him with thankfulness, blessed to have been set apart with a purpose for a purpose..

Your will be done!

.. motherless...

I love how living life that is so permeated with the Word of God just leads to some really awesome moments...

last night when. once again for a moment I was overwhelmed by the fact that I do not have a mother anymore ( living here with me on this earth ) I had another "light bulb"  moment..

as long as my mother still lived I, even though I am a 52 year old grown woman, was still a child, at least as it pertained to her... I was her child..
now, my father is still alive but, even though this might sound strange to many I have never felt like a child in re to him..  ( a child as in loved unconditionally, accepted, cared for, having a parent we could if we had ever still wanted, run to for advice and just this motherly love ) so... last night it dawned on me that this might be part of what it means to lose a mother... I am not a child to anyone walking the earth anymore...

but that's where He jumped right in.. the Holy Spirit that is:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,  and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him..... 

Romans 8:16-17

HA...

what a wonderful thing.. always, not just when losing one's mother, but so significant for where I am right now.. love how God takes those moments of sadness and suffering and reveals Himself on an even deeper level..

had stumbled over the connection made here between being a child of God and the suffering.. yup, no surprises here, and yet, such promise.. being glorified with Him, as His child, is worth knowing Him in His sufferings, as we all will to some extent during our life time..

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

1 John 3:1

so as I, feeling sad and probably a little sorry for myself, was pondering this thought that I was no longer a child ( beloved and taken care of if need be ) to anyone anymore he showed me just what kind of love He, the perfect Father in heaven has for me.. that I would be called a child of Him..

He, is my Abba Father and He will never leave me.

Thank you Lord

He IS my peace

teaching about prayer and scripture memorization at the Tuesday morning Bible Study at my church for the last month or so, someone told me today that she was blessed by my love for the Lord and His Word..

truth is, I am in constant awe of Him.. and I am constantly learning new things (talk about being in your fifties and still so far from knowing and understanding it all...)

just looking at where I am today, the fact that a year ago I got to marry the man that God had made especially for me, restoring the years the locusts have eaten,

the fact that God did want us to live here, far away from where He had blessed me with a tight-knit safety net of "Christ beside me"... far away from my beloved children and those sisters in the Lord He had for me during all those very tough years of an unhappy marriage and a horrible ripping apart of what was meant to be forever..
how He has been using these particular circumstances to allow our marriage to grow stronger..

the fact that through all kinds of complications and delays in many different ways I am finding myself  in the " no traveling outside the country" stage of my immigration process, hard as that has been at times, I can see what  He is doing... how He is working even something as random as this out to be good ...
again proof that my God is sovereign and that nothing, nothing at all ever happens without either Him ordaining or permitting it...

I am amazed that He has used all the heartaches and trials and losses of the last years to have me in a place where I love Him more, trust Him more and obey Him more.
He has me in a place of hearing from Him more, knowing His presence and guidance more, just in tune with Him like never before...

like David, hiding in the cave from his enemies, his soul seeking God's face, in desperation deciding to stand firm on what He knew about this God, that was his God, who he was intimately acquainted with, I have learned to stand on what I know to be true about Him and to not allow circumstances to dictate what I am feeling, to meditate on what He has done for me in the past and just to seek His presence at all times.

there are enemies that are trying to make my life miserable, there are those that not knowing what they are doing are allowing satan to use them to try and trip me up.. thanks to God to no avail..

trust and obedience are all we need when faced with trials of any kind... forgiveness and perseverance, keeping on keeping on.. as far as it depends on us,  living at peace with everyone
trusting the Lord to give and take away according to His perfect plan for our lives, striving to be content in all circumstances, living a life so filled with the joy of knowing Him that we embrace any kind of trial and discipline He sees fit for us to walk through ( never alone, Praise be to Him)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. 

For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4: 17-18

looking to Him, having my eyes fixed on Him, who IS my peace, I am allowed to see glimpses of His goodness and my heart overflows once again

walking with Him in perfect harmony through the good, the bad and the ugly, I am falling more and more in love with Him, my Redeemer and King... the lover of my soul..

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! 

How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

 “For who has known the mind of the Lord,

    or who has been his counselor?”

 “Or who has given a gift to him

    that he might be repaid?”

 For from him and through him and to him are all things. 

To him be glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:33-36

and somehow, He loves me.

how can I not love Him back and put Him first in EVERYTHING?

.. September resolutions...

I love September, come to think of it, September might be my favourite month..

still warm, but not hot anymore, beautiful colours, fall is in the air, I just love it...not sure if my new Michigan friends call this time Indian Summer like we do in Canada, "Spaetsommer" is what we call it where I am from ..



even though only one of my own children went back to school / University this year, and she did so on a different continent which makes the back to school shopping a little difficult, it's still that time ..

new beginnings and with it new opportunities, a whole lot of possibilities, that and the fresher air invigorates me... just thinking of that, "new school year resolutions" make more sense to me than "New Years" resolutions... :)

I am excited about the new things the Lord is doing in my life.
I love that His mercies are new EVERY morning.

indeed, He is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever...
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities ...
for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him,
as far as the east is from the west so far does he remove our transgressions from us,
as a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him,
for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust......


I memorized this passage over the last few weeks, and I love dwelling on it..
what an amazing thing... what an amazing gift, undeserved favour for those who fear Him,
who have, through faith given to us by Him, realized the need for a Saviour, and He in His great mercy, gives us new birth, into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead ( another passage I am reviewing.. memorized it a few years ago )


this is what He tells us to do:

You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes..

Deuteronomy 11:18

to know Him, to know how much He loves us, to know His plans for our lives and how to live this life... it's all right there for us...

quickly looking up a scripture I wanted to include, reading it in context once again it, blows me away... it's all there, all of it. all we need for life and godliness, all we ever need no matter what happens in our lives...... so here it goes:

Seek the Lord while he may be found;

    call upon him while he is near;

 let the wicked forsake his way,

    and the unrighteous man his thoughts;

let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,

    and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

    and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

    it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

“For you shall go out in joy

    and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

    shall break forth into singing,

    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."

Isaiah 55: 6-12

the point I wanted to make was that His Word does not go out in vain.. it accomplishes something, always ... as we dwell on it, as we plant it deeply into our mind, heart and soul it WILL transform us, it will make us more like Him.. we WILL know Him more, we WILL love Him more, we WILL become more like Him... it's a for sure thing..

so let me challenge you like I did the wonderful group of ladies on Tuesday morning... try it, let the Word sink into your heart, and God WILL be faithful, He will accomplish His purposes..

you can trust Him.

He never lets us down.

it's just not who He is.

 SOLI DEO GLORIA

and when I fail, He picks me up

it seems that life is a never ending navigating through new and unchartered waters.. when we think we might have figured one thing out, another new and sometimes unsettling one is just around the corner.

just look at where I live. Germany, Ontario, now Michigan.

 you'd think that adjusting to new surroundings would be something I have figured out...

being a child,  a grown-up, a mother - running around, 3 kids, 2 dogs- empty nester

having a mother, ( all my life ), not having one anymore.

married, not married, married again ( joy )

many of those things are great, some are not. 

even changes for the better include losses.

life is a journey

a process.

lots of learning.

adjusting

waiting

trusting

being refined 

( quite painful at times )

in it all,

there is one steady thing

because

He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

my relationship with Him,

( made possible through Him dying on a cross for my sins ) 

my center

my anchor

my hope

coming to Him each and every day

for all that I need

love

faith

joy

strength

peace

gentleness

kindness

self-control

forgiveness 

grateful for the guidance

the wisdom

the direction

how do we deal with that life

the changes

the challenges

the hurt 

the wonderful things 

( that's not that hard :)

going to Him, He shows me

if I fail, He picks me up

dusts me off

and sends me on my way again

and through it all

He always loves me.. 

He is indeed the Shepherd of my Soul

thank you Lord

"In the process

In the waiting

You're making melodies over me

And your presence

is the promise

For I am a pilgrim on a journey

You will lift my head above the mighty waves

You are able to keep me from stumbling

And in my weakness

you are the strength that comes from within

Good shepherd of my soul

Take my hand and lead me on

You make my footsteps and my path secure

So walking on water is just the beginning

Cause my faith to arise, stand at attention

For You are calling me to greater things

Oh

how I love You

how I love You

You have not forsaken me

Oh

How I love You

how I love You

With you is where I want to be

you never leave me, Lord"

"Shepherd" 

by Amanda Cook

.. consumed by His love....

it's 4:45, up since 2.. crazy to be awake.. so tired and not able to sleep anyways..
oh well, praying and pouring my heart out to my Jesus, so much going on in this mind of mine.
so I gave in and got my laptop.. crazy, I know...

consumed by love.. love for Him most of all, He, who rescued me.. He who keeps on rescuing me, He, who has given me new life, He, who gives me purpose, who sustains me through all the ups and downs of life.. He, who is the author and perfecter not only of my faith, but my entire being.. without Him there is nothing, with Him.. there are the riches of the glory of God and eternal blessing, provision and abundance .. love so amazing, so divine.. filling my heart to overflowing.. as I sit with Him, walk with Him, and hear from Him, as He sinks into my heart, I love Him more each day, and all those He has given me.... gratitude.. overwhelming gratitude, bursting my fragile little heart...

love for my husband.. never knew this kind of love... blessings flowing like a RIVER, a stream, a huge one, unending understanding and soul connection, unending tender affection, and fun, such unending fun, needs met.. it's deep, so very deep.. thank you Lord.... what a blessing to be able to bless him, just by being who I am.. how refreshing..

love for my children... thinking about just how much I love those beautiful girls, all so wonderfully made, woven together in my womb by the Father, ( blows my mind ) so precious to me.. so proud of them all, and so desperate for them to know Him..  thinking about the depth of my love for them I wondered.. and it's one of those things I will never quite be able to find out..
is the way I love them, the heart-bursting, not knowing how to express the magnitude of it, LOVE .. is that how every mother loves her children?  is it me, am I more extreme in my feelings ( and the answer for this I know : yes! )  and does it have to do with what I did, forgiven though it is, don't get me wrong, it is not guilt driven.. but do they mean so much more because I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are indeed a gift, an undeserved gift from above... where all good gifts come from....

Children are a heritage from the Lord,

    offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

    are children born in one’s youth.

fact is.. I am consumed.. with the love for them.. so I pray.. for them.. a lot.. and I ask, again and again, how to love them well, I ask for wisdom, for what to say and what not to say, how to show them that I am for them, always, that they are so very precious to me...

love for my brothers and sisters in Christ, my pastors in particular, and once again,  I am asking the Lord... how can I bless, how can I love, in the right and appropriate way..

Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches.

Galatians 6:6

Respect everyone, and love the family of believers.

1 Peter 2:17

so I pray, for all those brothers and sisters.. my fellow believers, and love, encourage and help, as He leads me.. 

and lastly, a love for all those the Lord brings and has brought into my life that do not know Him... wherever they are, my prayer is that they could see Him in me, that through the cracks and all the brokenness His love could flow freely, that I would not hinder what He wants to accomplish through me, despite of me...that I would love them with His love, be His hands, His feet, His smile and His hugs....

this love, it flows, a never ending stream, a heart filled by His love, every morning anew,  overflowing, loving Him because He first loved me.. loving those He gave me, ...it's quite amazing.. maybe that's what keeps me up at night.. ;)

thankful to Him, from whom all blessings flow, living to bring Him glory.. because that's what it is all about... 

SOLI DEO GLORIA

restoration: a father daughter miracle

was just reading a blog post from 4 1/2 years ago yesterday..
I had written it to actively make myself take my eyes off what had just happened ( the fact that I was served papers regarding a law suit against me as a consequence of something my father had done in my name 25 years before )
and rather focus on Him, my perfect Father in Heaven.

during my now over 52 year long life I had indeed been shortchanged.
like many are.
by my father mostly, but by my mother too.

core needs not met.. things like safety, security, value, purpose, consistent love.. attention, knowing you matter... all those...

focusing on that even though we do live in a broken world, being brought up by broken people who were brought up by broken people, who were brought up by broken people.. my loving Father in Heaven was always and always will be, in total control of all this, His love had not only redeemed me but also was restoring me and all those broken places.. allowing me to forgive and let go of any blame directed at those that by His perfect design were my parents...

long story short..
I had the privilege to lead my mother, who passed away 2 months and 25 days ago, to Christ a little over 3 years ago.. allowing some sense of restoration and redemption of our relationship.. and, most of all the blessed assurance that I will see her again in heaven when my day comes..

as a consequence of this horrible loss, my father, struggling with Parkinson's himself, surrendered His life to the King of kings about 6 weeks ago ... God is AMAZING..

so,  3 days ago, thinking of my father I stumbled across some rather unknown feeling ..
it shocked me.. I had to listen in and focus... I realized  that I .. and here it comes... miss my father..

unbelievable to me.. so foreign.. I am not making this up.. this was the very first time I ever experienced this feeling at all......

being the most of the time absent and other than that critical and cruel father that he was, and even though I have forgiven him for all he has done to hurt everyone in my family, I just never missed him..

 after spending the 7 days right after my mother passed away together  and after the last 10 days I saw him, after long talks and hugs and prayers and scripture reading... after him hugging me that last night before we left and telling me he was so happy that all was good between us, and he was sorry it took him that long, when he said that too bad my mother couldn't see this... and we cried some more together...I am in awe to be able to see the Lord is now doing something miraculous..

as a biblical counsellor I know that God always asks us to forgive, ( because we have been forgiven ) He also wants us, as far as it depends on us, to pursue peace with everyone, but, a relationship is not always restored..

as much as I always prayed for this, I kind of did not at all expect this to happen.
so, as weird as this sounds, I lost my mother, and it still makes me cry out in pain, but, I gained a father... now that, that is something only my most wonderful Daddy in Heaven can come up with, leave it to Him to blow me away.. He does it over and over and over again...

I just love Him <3

anxiety and fear: a default reaction?

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?

    How long will you look the other way?

 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,

    with sorrow in my heart every day?

    How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

    Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”

    Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

 But I trust in your unfailing love.

    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

 I will sing to the Lord

    because he is good to me.

Psalm 13

posted this passage as part of a blog post 2 1/2 years ago.. 

 a door I had thought would open for me had just been shut right into my face a month before and I was discouraged..

the Lord did work some things out, showed me some stuff about myself and an idol I had erected, made me take it down and actively embrace my circumstances instead...

in the meantime the main reason I had had no sparkle in my eyes has been restored..

faithful like He is, my Father in Heaven has restored the years the locusts have eaten and I am blessed..

there is, even now, never a shortage of issues and difficulties and trials that have me struggle with anguish and sorrow in my heart..

trusting in His unfailing love a means of survival each day.

I have realized one thing.

the "once this is dealt with, I won't be anxious anymore" is one huge lie we tend to believe 

I am sure that fear and anxiety is just my "go to emotion", 

that it is something in me, that causes me to end up there over and over again

my circumstances, like anyone else's are always going to include difficult and sometimes heart wrenching things.

what will I do with them..

will my default reaction be to trust Him

or to be afraid ?

I can decide that.

having the Spirit of the living God in me, 

I can choose to fix my eyes on Him, the mountain mover rather than on the mountain, 

no matter how unsurmountable it seems..

the power that resurrected Christ is mine,

I do not have to allow the enemy to deceive me into feeling lost and powerless.

the Creator of the Universe is on my side

He is good to me

He rescues me

He unravels me with a melody

He splits the sea so I can walk right through it

His love has called my name.

I am His

What can man do to me?

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, 

neither angels nor demons, 

neither the present nor the future, 

nor any powers, 

neither height nor depth, 

nor anything else in all creation, 

will be able to separate me from the love of God 

that is in Christ Jesus my Lord and Saviour

Romans 8:38-39

not jealous.. no MWS Cruise for me

listening to a little tidbit from the MWS and Friends Cruise going on right now.. I am reminded of a lot of things...

I am thankful for technology. without it I could not be listening to Laura Story sharing part of her story and singing...

I am thankful for the fact that I have friends I love enough to miss them, they are on that cruise..

I am thankful that I have met them all on a cruise just like that..

I am thankful that during  the last 6 years I have been on 3 cruises like this..
time spent with like minded Christ Followers,  each time spending a week of praising our Father in Heaven, learning about Him

I am thankful that in all the trials and tribulations God teaches us so much more than just learning to trust Him

He teaches us how much He loves us..
He shows us how much He cares,
that He alone is in control and that what He has for us is the best..
even if we might not be able to see it so clearly at times..

a few months ago, when the time came to pay the balance for this trip I needed to make a decision.
my mother was slowly but very surely dying from cancer and the fact that she lived in Switzerland and I lived 6,000km ( 3,728.227 miles ) away on a different continent just made it so inexcusable to spend this kind of money on a trip so frivolous.. I needed to spend my money on going to see my mother and, I needed to be available at any given time to rush to her...

not even a month later the unimaginable, unbearable happened.. my mother passed away, expected yet horribly sudden, too late to get a few days with her while on this earth, we still had to rush over there to be with family and to honor her...

we had been praying for God to have mercy on her and God was merciful... He took her and spared her more suffering ... I am holding on to that when the waves of grief still overwhelm...

not being on that cruise this week still is a hard thing to do...

but again, I am thankful

thankful that I could instead have been tending to family for the last 10 days

thankful to be home with my husband who is such a pillar of strength for me

thankful that, as with my mother passing, there is now new opportunity to be transformed..

to be content in all circumstances.

to not be jealous but to rejoice with those that are rejoicing.

to take feelings and thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ and to allow Him to change me

I wish I was there, but God had a different plan

His plans are not only to not harm me but to prosper me, to give me hope and a future, they are the very best, it's actually a no brainer.

we did not know the timing of it all.
He did.

time spent with my daughters who I am missing so and who miss me..
time spent with my father, who having lost his wife, bowed his knees before Christ just 4 weeks ago
time spent with other family members trying to help navigate new territory
reconnecting with friends who needed encouragement and who encouraged me.

so, long story short.
God never wastes one second of our lives.
He always is faithful to mold us and shape us,
to make us more like Himself..
often through taking away,
always through blessing us.

there is strength within the sorrow

there is beauty in our tears

and You meet us in our mourning

with a love that casts out fear

You are working in our waiting

You are sanctifying us

when beyond our understanding 

You're teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper

You have not forgotten us

You're with us in the fire and the flood 

You're faithful forever

perfect in love

You are SOVEREIGN over us...

.. single and struggling with loneliness???? been there, but HE was there with me...

a few years ago, a little less than 5 to be exact.. during the first year of being "single" "left" "dismissed" and "discarded"... struggling with loneliness and rejection, this is what I wrote:

You whisper..

You want my attention

My undivided attention...

focus..

no distractions..

What were You saying??

"Wait"

Wait?

What do you mean?

"Wait"

But why??

"Wait"

But you don't understand..

"Wait"

But I need to know...

Why aren't You telling me..

"Just wait"

But I can't...

"With Me all things are possible"

But Why... why can't You just tell me?

"Trust Me

 Don't settle for second best..

I have something amazing planned for you"

But Lord... How?

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

But....

" I Satisfy you in the morning with my unfailing love, 

that you may sing for joy and be glad all your days.

Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you"

But Lord... I am lonely..

"For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is His name— 

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth."

You are?

 

" I am.. and I delight over you with singing

I love you with an everlasting love my child"

Thank You, Lord... 

I praise you

And I will wait on you..

and trust You forever more.

the struggle was real and I struggled and waited and struggled some more and waited some more.. and then, when the time was right ( apparently ) I met " the something amazing He had planned for me"... today I have been married to this man for almost 10 months.. not only has my relationship to my Father in Heaven become deeper and stronger throughout those years,  I am also blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined or even asked for. so ... if you are single.. lonely and tempted to settle for second best... DON'T...... He means it... JUST WAIT on Him.. <3

.. you split the sea so I could walk right through it...

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,                                                                               and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

when I remember you upon my bed,

and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

for you have been my help,

and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63: 5-8

"as your soul clings to me, as you are committed to do my will, I, your Lord, will uphold you with my right hand.. you don't have to be afraid, I will keep you that safe that you are going to sing for joy .. sheltered under the shadow of my wings you can find rest .. do not worry, I am helping you.."

a week ago, listening to Him, that's what I heard.. reading through this again and again I was especially encouraged by the "right hand" upholding me..

I knew that I had read this before, in other places and I decided to do a little study on it.

I found many places where the Lord uses this phrase to communicate that we can trust His power:

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,

you preserve my life;

you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,

and your right hand delivers me.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Psalm 138:7-8

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139:7-10

Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

with His right hand He upholds us , that's the hand with which He brings destruction, this is His powerful hand, this is how He intervenes, makes things happen.. He is all powerful and strong, He who spoke the universe into existence gets hands on when it comes to His people, His children..

just a few days before He gave me this passage He brought a most amazing song to my attention as well..

no longer slaves.. amazing song.. the chorus is what sank into my heart..was what I needed to hear over and over again

You unravel me, with a melody

You surround me with a song

Of deliverance, from my enemies

Till all my fears are gone

I'm no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God

I'm no longer a slave to fear

I am a child of God

From my mother's womb

You have chosen me

Love has called my name

I've been born again, into your family

Your blood flows through my veins

I am surrounded

By the arms of the Father

I am surrounded

By songs of deliverance

We've been liberated

From our bondage

We're the sons and the daughters

Let us sing our freedom

You split the sea

So I could walk right through it

My fears were drowned in perfect love

You rescued me

and I will stand and sing

I am a child of God

I am His child, He is gathering me under His wings, because that is a place where nothing can harm me.. I can surrender, I can open my hands and let go.. because He is not just some figure out there, far removed, who randomly gives and takes, this is my Abba Father,  He who surrounds me with His arms of love..my Daddy... and yes, He does take things away, too many it seems at times,

but I know I can trust Him.. He upholds me with His right hand..

He split the sea so I could walk right through it more than once..

I know it.

It's true.

Trust Him I will

You can too.

open hands... NEW BLOG... First post :)

there is intense percolating happening in my brain at any given moment, percolating that takes writing thoughts and ideas down in order to figure out what it is that He, the author and perfecter of my faith is trying to teach me, digging deeper and deeper into who He is and who, consequently, I am..

a daughter of God the Father, the King of kings, set into this time in “his story” to despite herself and all her shortcomings, bring glory to Him, I am to represent Him well and shine His light, so that others can be see Him and be encouraged..

He, who never will give up on me, and oh I am so thankful for that ( I would have given up on me a long time ago if I was the parent ) has been busy lately taking me on a new path, a deeper and more profound one and so I decided to abandon my blog of the last 3 years and start afresh…surrenderedobedience.com

“Forget the former things

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

many changes, good ones and not so good ones have driven me even more into the presence of my Abba Father, my Daddy, and He is, faithfully, taking off layer after layer .. allowing me to see more clearly what a life totally abandoned to Him looks like.

my hands had to be pried open a few times, realizing that when I hold to tightly to what I do not want to let go, if my fists stay closed, stubbornly, I also lose out on what blessings He is wanting me to receive..

so it has been a time of opening those fists, holding the things that are so dear to me losely, looking to Him and learning that what He has planned for me to receive is indeed worth losing what I have had and may have to let go..

so bear with me if you may, as I sometimes might be limping , other times maybe skipping along with my Saviour, Jesus, the Lover of my soul… He has me at the edge of my seat most of the time, there is never a dull moment with Him.. He is true to what He promised.. He has come to give life and give it to the full.. it never ceases to amaze me..

.. not staying in the pit.. no way....

" In Your name I come alive. To declare your victory. The resurrecting Kind is resurrecting me"

read this this morning and it was as if God summed up all He had been telling me over the last few days.

you see, on Sunday evening I faced, even though I had hoped and prayed and had others praying, one of the nightmares I so wanted to not have to go through..

and afterwards, this feeble, frightened little girl did what she always does... she fell... deep into the pit of fear and anxiety and even though she knows her Heavenly Father and that His plans are to prosper and not to harm and to give hope and a future.. even though she has seen Him take things that others or just circumstances have meant for evil and turn it around into something so good... she just fell right in..

good thing I was listening to some uplifting hymns already .. good thing I have quite a few scriptures addressing fear and trust and such memorized and good thing I can pray...  but I still remained... in the pit..

yesterday, Thursday, while driving I once again was asking God why it was that I had such a hard time believing that things will work out just fine.. and it dawned on me.. ( again.. duh ) I just don't expect anything to go well for me.. for others, for sure, but for me... not so much..

shocked that I am still doing this I asked God what I could do and why and all that.....
thinking it through and talking it through I was up again early pondering all that's hiding deep inside that frightened little feeble heart of mine..

 there is the void an absent and volatile, sometimes abusive father would have left... where there should have been security and love..
there are hopes that have been lost...
and there is such heartache on so many levels maybe that makes one easy prey for the evil one who just wants me in that pit... so I can't be out there glorifying my God..

ha... and that's what He said to me right there and then...
it's a choice.
I can stand on the truth that I know to be true.
because when it all comes down to the bottom line, this is what it is:

the power and mind of Jesus is mine.
the resurrected King is in me.
He is resurrecting me again and again, because when I am weak, He is strong.
He is glorified by me falling and Him lifting me out.. putting me back on my feet and giving me the strength to face my tomorrows.. no matter how scary they might be...

it's nothing new, but I needed to hear it.
He is blessing me in so many ways. and yes, the struggle is real, like one of my daughters is so fond of saying, it is real. and it is hard. but not too hard for my Jesus and I...

so, since it is all about Him and His glory.... He came through and resurrected me, lifted me up, gave me new life and new courage and new hope...

in His time He will make all things beautiful
and that's not just my hope, I know that for a fact.

... glimpses of Jesus in the church nursery...

I am all about taking pictures .. of everyone, everywhere...
I have always taken many pictures.. of everyone, everywhere... long before it was "in" and "trendy" to do this and post it on social networks..

this morning, I would have liked to have taken a picture..
the moment the one little baby finally fell asleep on my chest, and the other, slightly older one, also nestled up on me looking at him and pointing and saying "baby"...

it was, and these are not my kids, one of those moments that makes life worth living..
it was one of these moments when your heart just overflows with love and everything seems alright..

what made it so significant is that really, nothing much is alright these days..
what made it so significant was that Jesus showed me something through this brief little glimpse of what it is all about..

when allowing oneself to be happy and have fun is kind of hard because someone one cares about struggles like never before..
when taking your thoughts off the physical and emotional struggles of that someone so far is almost impossible and those thoughts  have you close to tears or in tears a lot of the time..
then a moment like this is extra precious...

this morning when praying with my husband I asked the Lord that he, my husband would have glimpses today of Jesus, of what He is doing, always, yet so often without us seeing it, how He is faithful and keeps on fighting our battles and providing all that we need..

praying for His mercy and grace and comfort for family members  I need to decide every moment anew that I trust Him to keep His promises.
I need to do what the Bible tells me and give Him all my requests, with thanksgiving and LEAVE them with Him and the peace only He can give  surrounds me.

I have to trust Him and wait on Him, I can't borrow tomorrow's trouble because today holds enough of it's own, I can't dwell on the horrible because in His Word He tells me only to dwell on what is praiseworthy, noble and lovely... and rather take every thought that won't fit in with this, captive to the obedience of Christ and surrender it to Him, leave it in His capable hands, hands that  are most powerful.. hands that control everything, informed by His purposeful goodness... yes, even when someone is dying of cancer..

so this morning, this picture worthy moment ( and obviously my "arms" were full so I couldn't take one, and those are not my kids so I wouldn't have taken one anyways ) helped me soothe my aching heart.. I allowed it to warm my soul  and I enjoyed it... because..
His eyes ARE on the sparrow, the little babies, me, my mother, my husband, my children... on all that He has chosen according to His purpose, His perfect plan and will.....

...for when I am weak then I am strong...

it's 10:30 pm here in London, England, 11:30 pm already in Switzerland, where I was until this morning, have to be on my way to the airport at 6 and so I really should be trying to sleep..

but..
let's say I am a bit too wired for that..
so here goes..

I cannot even try to put into words the experiences ( upheaval) of the last 15 days.

• had to put my beloved puppy down
• cross examination for a legal matter
• really sick
• travelled to England
• tried to help my "last teenager" with navigating her life 
• travelled to Switzerland
• tried to be intentional in spending meaningful time with my mother whose body is losing the battle against cancer
• tough family issues faced
• said Good bye
• travelled to England..

it's been tough.. it's been emotional.. leaving was hard, but, wow, has God been good..

Satan has been hard at work trying to throw me off, trying to make me that sick that I could not have anything to give..

trying to throw even more dark and horrible stuff at me.. so I would fret and be tempted to take my eyes off Him and try and do things on my own.. 

darkness so dark, everywhere, almost drowning out the light seeping through the cracks of this broken vessel that I am, so willing to be used for His glory..

well, he, Satan, lost. 

no surprises here because, obviously, He, Jesus, has already won this battle a very long time ago..

when confronted with such turmoil and heartache the position I now take by default is prayer and scripture recitation.. constantly.. I am also asking my prayer warrior friends to lift me up  and then, even in  the moments when all inside of me screams "I can't do this anymore" this is true for me:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

standing on truth, His truth, no matter how it all feels, what a privilege to be able to do that.

I am in awe of who He is, in awe of the fact that His plans will not be thwarted, that He alone is in control of all things.. the futile attempts of the evil one will never succeed.. 

I am in awe of His sustaining power and just how this strength feels lived out when there is no shadow of a doubt that it most definitely does not come from me..... most definitely..

circumstances have not changed, tough times are ahead, but.. the covenant of peace will not be removed and His unfailing love for us cannot be shaken...

He has compassion on us..... compassion that feels like a firm yet gentle embrace.. lifting me up and carrying me while I am hugging my mother's frail body... praying with her and crying together.. as I am speaking His truth into desperate circumstances.. all by His strength and His grace..

it's just amazing... never fails to blow me away... oh how I love HIM

satisfy us in the morning...

In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; 

   in the morning I lay my requests before you 

   and wait expectantly. 

Psalm 5:3

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Psalm 90:14

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 

   for I have put my trust in you. 

Show me the way I should go, 

   for to you I entrust my life. 

Psalm 143:8

This morning, Lord, I come to you and I give you all my burdens..

This morning I ask you to help me put my trust in you.. I am leaving my burdens, worries, sadness, sorrows and hurts at your throne.. help me not to pick them up again during the day..

You alone know what this day will hold, you alone are able to keep me on the path that brings you glory.

I praise you this morning and thank you, for you keep your promises and they are many..

you have clothed me with dignity and strength, you have crowned me with honour and glory.. for your name's sake...

I rely on you to help me keep my eyes fixed on you, for you are eternal, trustworthy, righteous and holy.

You alone are worthy of my praise..

Let me not put up an idol today or grumble about my life... let me accept where you have me with thankfulness and gratitude...

I love you Lord

and I lift my voice

to worship You,

oh my soul rejoice

Satisfy us in the morning with your love

May the favour of the Lord,

 be upon us and our land,

And establish for us all

The work of our hands

Do not fret, it only leads to evil

yesterday morning I boarded a plane to England.. sick as a dog and rather distressed because of all that has been going on over the last little while, I dreaded having to be on that plane.. coughing my lungs out and just feeling plain weary from trying to beat this flu or whatever it is, I knew that this was going to be a very long seven hours....

had to say Goodbye to my last little furry companion last week, poor little trooper had gotten so very sick, the vet told us even with life prolonging measures he would only have a few weeks to live.. so we decided the in my opinion really "undecidable"... we put him to sleep..

there is a wide gap between in your head understanding something is the best solution and holding your puppy as his heart stops because you asked the vet to put an overdose of anesthetic into his vein.. sad and heartbreaking, that's for sure..

a legal matter, because of something done in my name a very long time ago, needed my attention the next day and let me just say that I do hope I never have to do anything like that again.
I left discouraged and even a bit frightened.

facing something that most likely ( I think now ) will happen in the near future, losing all that on an earthly level one would call "security" unsettled me deeply.

it was so much clearer right then and there why God gave us this scripture just a week earlier :

...though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, 

yet my unfailing love for you will never be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, 

says the Lord who has compassion on you.... 

Isaiah 54:10

I knew that this was huge when we read it in one of the devotionals we read each day...

my "in house counsel", my "almost done law school" daughter and her boyfriend confirmed some of the fears surrounding this and so after seeing them on Sunday I fell into some deep turmoil ( being sick and having to leave my husband for 12 days did not help )

another email devotion I receive every morning had a verse in Psalm 37 for me yesterday before boarding my plane.. finding it to hit the spot I read and meditated on Psalm 37 for a very long time during the 7 hours of my flight..

I prayed through it and personalized it for me.. amazes me how there is really nothing we can encounter that has not been addressed at least once in the scriptures..

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

   fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

    over the man who carries out evil devices!

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

    Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

    but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

Psalm 37: 7-9

in my distress and my fear, I was fretting ( and I might b wrong but I take this as being anxious and afraid ) for sure, I was tempted to look at this with earthly eyes, I was tempted to take measures into my own hands and do things I wouldn't do otherwise..

fretting leads only to evil... fretting is taking my eyes off Jesus, the One from whom my help comes  the one who knows the beginning and the end, who gives and takes away, whose ways are not my ways, they are much higher, who loves me with an everlasting love and is my Jehovah Jireh, my Provider... He has been faithful before and I know He always will be..

I will not do anything that goes against He "prescribes" because this is also true:

Stepping outside of the boundaries of God's wise commands never will lead you anywhere good. Knowing what's right is a grace.

Paul David Tripp

stepping on the plane I was fretting, fear had gripped me. stepping off the plane I had my feet planted firmly where they are meant to be. standing on the rock I will trust Him and hold with open hands that which was given.. it might be taken away if that's what my loving Heavenly Father has in mind.. but I know that I will stay right smack in the middle of His will when staying under the umbrella of His authority, trusting Him to take care of me..

the covenant of peace cannot be removed.. 

The wicked borrows but does not pay back,

    but the righteous is generous and gives;

 for those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land,

    but those cursed by him shall be cut off.

The steps of a man are established by the Lord,

    when he delights in his way;

though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,

    for the Lord upholds his hand.

 I have been young, and now am old,

    yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken

    or his children begging for bread.

He is ever lending generously,

    and his children become a blessing.

Turn away from evil and do good;

    so shall you dwell forever.

For the Lord loves justice;

    he will not forsake his saints.

They are preserved forever

I am forever grateful

we love because He first loved us.. a day after Valentine's Day.. 5 years ago

wrote this 5 years ago : 

security... love... acceptance... forgiveness....reconciliation... trust....love...acceptance....no expectations... forgiveness.. and it goes on and on and on....

it is really logical and straightforward.. there is God, the Father, the Creator... He is the one that is our fortress and refuge, He is the one that keeps us safe... He loves us enough to send His Son to the earth to give His life for the forgiveness of our sins.. through this we are reconciled to the Father and can trust Him to love us and accept us, out of the security of being loved by Him we can accept others for who they are, with a heart full of love from the Father we can love without expectations, forgive and be reconciled with the people around us, by showing this love to others they too can find the security, love, acceptance, forgiveness and reconciliation that leads to trust, love, acceptance etc......

today, when out celebrating my birthday again :) with a wonderful friend we ended up talking about that because I know God loves me, and is good, I trust that He had a reason for changing my heart and enabling me to love my husband like He wanted me to, even though, since he still refused to surrender himself to the Lord,  in the end it didn't change anything, but made it even harder for me to lose him.... when it first happened I wasn't sure why God would have done it like this, because I hurt so much more than I would have had He not given me this supernatural love... loving him for who he was, with God's
love, not expecting anything, forgiving and trusting....

From a worldly point of view it definitely didn't make much sense, but God knew what He was doing... when the final break up came I was able to forgive out of the love and grace God had filled me with, overflowing, it allowed me to choose not to be angry and retaliate and hate, destroying everyone and everything around me in the meantime....

because I know Him to be my Protector I do not have to worry and build huge walls around my heart to protect myself, becoming bitter, sarcastic and negative... because I trust Him I can still be open and authentic not hiding my weaknesses, being vulnerable and real.... because He has walked with me faithfully, holding me close in His arms when all I ever wanted to keep was ripped out of my heart, I know that whatever will come my way will be okay.... because my God is big enough to deal with anything and He promises me to bring me safely to His heavenly Kingdom where I will live with Him in eternal harmony, peace and love.... no tears, no lies, no hurts... until then, I am out there loving, trusting, forgiving, reconciling with people... my prayer is that in turn they will know the love and acceptance and forgiveness He has for them.... for Everyone to feel His LOVE..... that is my desire... because NOTHING COMPARES!!!

..piling the ever more scary things on again and again...

one of the biggest blessings in my life is to share what the Lord is teaching me...
an even bigger blessing is when I get to share this with my children..
because, let's face it.. that's what we are called to do as parents..
now my children aren't children anymore ( they will always be my little munchkins :) but they are quite grown up... so, it's even a bigger blessing to share with them and for them to appreciate it..

a few days ago, as one of them was sharing her frustration with me, and as I was praying for her and thinking about it, I had another one of those "AHA" moments..

not a specifically new concept but it just came to me like this, straight from Him who will never give up on making me more like Him..

I was happy to share this with my daughter.. "fresh from the press" so to speak..
and that's what I said ( texted )

 

the cool thing was that she, this wonderful young woman, I love her so much, was so willing to hear Him...

thinker that I am I realized that this is what He is doing with me, has been doing with me for the last 3 years or so.. not about anger and forgiveness .. but about being anxious and fearful..

it seems I am a difficult case when it comes to that.. my "twin sister from another mother( and father obviously) " and another continent ( she was born on the exact day as me just in India, and I in Germany ) just said about herself not so long ago: "I am fearful by nature".. and is this ever true for me..

there were so many, many things I was fearful of... by nature, by default, always, as long as I can remember..

there were fears of flying, my teacher, the dentist, loved ones dying in car accidents and the list goes on..

since walking with my Lord He has delivered me from many of my fears.. it's quite amazing..

and yet, He is doing exactly what I told my daughter about how He makes us more like Him with me.. He keeps on piling the ever more scary things on again and again...

so, as I am, by renouncing my specific fear and reciting my fav memory verse to myself whenever the fear of certain scenario creeps up ( Surely, God is my salvation.. I will TRUST and NOT BE AFRAID.. the Lord, the Lord Himself is my strength and my defence, He has become my salvation ) by His strength overcoming the particular fear I am facing, He will not give up on teaching me for fear no longer to be my default response to potentially difficult circumstances ...

being convicted that some of this fear has to do with me being chicken, a coward, not wanting more difficulties and hardships to deal with, I was reminded that as I follow Him, I am called to pick up my cross daily, follow Him and know Him in His suffering ... my flesh is weak, that part of me that just would like a break.. but the Spirit is willing..

so off we go, crossing that border back into Canada in a few days ( fear of maybe having a hard time to get back in when I come back has kept me here for the last few months - by His strength I decided that I was not going to be paralyzed by that any longer ) 

a court / lawyer appointment, facing issues that have nothing to do with me head on.. 

traveling to be there for family, young and old ( by plane.. no longer a fear for me )..  a blessing and heart breaking at the same time, physical and emotional stress. and yes.. I would so much rather just stay here with my beloved husband.. hiding from all that is not easy.. living the comfortable life.. but that's just not what we are called to do....

and then, this morning, in the Word with my husband, this most wonderful man of God, we stumbled across this:

Though mountains will be shaken and hills will be removed, 

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, 

nor will my covenant of peace be removed, 

says the Lord who has compassion on you..

Isaiah 54:10

no reason for fear whatsoever..

To Him be all Glory and Praise Forever 

AMEN