no New Years resolutions???????

it's that time again... all the social media sites and all conversations seem to be centering on what will all be better next year... next year ... that's only 9 1/2 more hours ..
New Years resolutions...  was asked if I had any by a friend who knows me well...
she knew my answer before I even opened my mouth..

I have NONE!

I don't believe in New Years resolutions..
I don't believe in just because tomorrow's date will have a different number as the year, we need to come up with all those big ideas for change for the better...
I don't believe in all the many failures.. all the frustration that comes when all those new and lofty goals aren't being reached..

I just don't do it...

there is nothing wrong with making decisions to change things,
there is nothing wrong with new motivation to make better choices,
about food, exercising, traveling, seizing the moment. being kinder, working harder, saving more, enjoying more and all that..

I just don't get the hype..
aren't we always working on those things?
aren't we always called to improve?
shouldn't we take care of our relationships, bodies, health, finances etc at all times?

truth is...
we all have really good intentions.. at times.. we do get motivated.. and we get going.. we make ourselves get going... and we try.. try real hard.. and then something comes up and we fail..

truth is..
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

I have seen it in myself and in others.. it is true.. we can't make it happen without Him helping us.

but if we do... if we surrender all those great things and changes and all that to Him.. if we rely on Him for everything, depend on Him, open our fists and let go of the control, if we open our hands and receive what it is He has for us.. then this is true:

 I can do all things through him who strengthens me..

that's the truth..
found in the Book, the Word He gave us, the Word He is.. the truth, that contains all we need for life and godliness.. it's all there right there at our fingertips..

so.. all those amazing resolutions .. they are all nice.. if I was forced and had to come up with one.. it would always be the same.. the new goal for every new day..

to know HIM more, to focus on HIM more, to follow HIM more, to serve HIM more..

there.. ok, there it is.. my right now and every tomorrow resolution.. by His grace and His strength..

...first Christmas as a blended family... the perfect gift..

it's only two more sleeps until my daughters arrive at our new home.

it's going to be a totally new Christmas experience for them,  for my two brand new step daughters.. for all of us..
for the first time since the wedding the new blended family will get together.. Christmas.. my husband and I and our 5 daughters..

we have been reflecting and praying and talking and thinking about Christmas..
the night that the Christ was born.
God's son, born so many years ago, according to what had been foretold by the prophets.. it happened

willingly, He,

who, being in very nature God,

    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

 rather, he made himself nothing

    by taking the very nature of a servant,

    being made in human likeness.

the gift given to us by the Father in Heaven, who sent His only begotten son so we could be reconciled to Him .. His purpose was this:

 and being found in appearance as a man,

    he humbled himself

    by becoming obedient to death—

        even death on a cross!

the perfect sacrifice.. both man and God, without sin, dying our death, paying the price for our transgressions, making us right again with our Father.. all we have to do is believe..

righteousness restored, eternal joy and peace the free gift, no matter the circumstances, no matter the trials and tribulations.. 

Christmas reminds us of all this.. it's reason to celebrate for sure.. it's a good reason to give gifts to remember  the greatest gift of all..how wonderful to be able to get together with the ones we love to  communicate the love we have for one another..

so many years ago this was what the Father did.. He showed His love for us by giving His only Son so that we, by believing could become His children..

He is the King, the Ruler, the Messiah and the Shepherd.. only God could have planned it out like this.. justice, perfect power and truth combined with mercy and grace.. a compassionate, almighty God, achieving for us what we never could have done ourselves.. making a way, tearing down the veil and restoring that relationship that we all are longing for.. filling that God-shaped vacuum that only He can fill...

waiting expectantly to see how He in His perfect love for us will make this a very special and meaningful Christmas indeed..

so thankful for that amazing gift.. The baby born in a manger..

.. called to more than that..... in His time....

“Love each other with the same love you have for your family. In fact, you should love each other with the same love that is shared between two brothers. The value you place on each other should be so high that it makes you desire to see those you love excel and achieve much in life, even if it means that they excel and achieve more than you do.”

Romans 12:10 

( Rick Renner: Sparkling Gems of the Greek)

reading this right now explains a little why if there was a litmus test for what level of grief and sadness you were going through I think I would be scoring on the higher end...

having been blessed by the Lord to be part of a "church family" where this kind of brotherly, (and sisterly ) respectful love was flowing freely for almost all of my Christian life, it makes sense that there is a profound sense of loss..  makes sense that walking in and out of a church without so much as talking to someone for a moment let alone connect meaningfully just feels so VERY wrong...

another passage of scripture comes to mind:

 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him.  Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”  Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers.  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Matthew 12:46-50

the closeness we have, kind of by default, as fellow believers planted in the same church, called to ministry together, called to love one another with this kind of "rejoicing together-mourning together - being Jesus to one another" love is rooted in sharing what is most important in our lives and that is our Saviour.. the call to be like Him, the call to point each other to Him as the source of all we need to know for life and godliness.. there is something about this that is thicker even than blood...

it's the spiritual family.. not surprising really, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ..

so, I am acknowledging that God, the Sovereign God over all creation has us in this place where for now we are lacking these kind of relationships.. has us in the place where being ripped out of the fabric of such family ties and intimacy we feel like all our limbs have been amputated.. acknowledging that only the manufacturer can heal such wounds and He will, in His time.. He will also allow new connections to grow.. based on that same "co-heir of Christ kind of kinship" and allow us to bless and be blessed.. again...

 As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him—  you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says:

“See, I lay a stone in Zion,

    a chosen and precious cornerstone,

and the one who trusts in him

    will never be put to shame.”

1 Peter 2:4-6

I am looking forward to the new year to connect in some more meaningful ways with this new family, while worshipping together and hearing the Word preached each Sunday is laying a foundation for all the things He has for us.. to become crafted in, to bear fruit, to find our place as living stones, part of this building, the church, to minister and come along side each other, thankful and expectant to find out what this will look like!!! God is GOOD all the time!

..it never hurts to be looking for "son"shine... Eeyore

I have always gravitated to Eeyore... I feel some kinship.. can relate to that cloud that continually seems to be following him... I love how gentle he is and kind, in his sad state always trying to be ok..

I took a few moments today to read through the few posts of the last weeks .. and I do think that there seems to be an overabundance of trials... one after the other gets added and some just hang around...

knew that and have been known to say things like this before: I know God is teaching me, shaping me and refining me through this, I know that everything that comes my way is informed by His purposeful goodness, but... could I just get a little break... just for a while????

well, was I put into my place last Sunday..
I have to say as lonely and displaced that I feel here in my new "home town" I am so extremely thankful for that church the Lord has put us in..
yes, we don't really know anyone and that is hard for both of us.
but, man is it ever a good church.
amazing, genuine worship, and GREAT preaching..the truth being proclaimed and the hard stuff not avoided.. so blessed to be there, no question about that..

so, I was put in my place... like all the others that kind of think they have been refined enough, thank you very much ..

the Lord disciplines the ones He loves.. true
He will not give up on us but will bring to completion the good work He started... true..
He knows best... very true
so what if that black cloud is following me.. so what the losses and difficulties never seem to end..

there is blessing in knowing Him in the storm
there is blessing in waiting
there is blessing in getting glimpses of what He is doing once in a while
there is blessing in His purposes for my life
there is blessing in being able to share the comfort I received through all those trials with those around me
there is blessing in seeing His goodness everywhere, just because I HAVE to focus on Him to survive
there are blessings.. too many to count.. to know that I am desperate for Him,
that He is the air I breath, that it is He who carries me, it is He who holds on to me, when I feel all I can do is hold on to Him..
there is blessing in seeing the new things He does, the amazing things He does..
there is blessing in being lonely if it drives me to Him
there is blessing in knowing Him more and more and more and more..

He is faithful
He is committed
He is perfect in love
He is SOVEREIGN
and worthy to be praised.

I am human, and kind of an Eeyore-person.. so, I know He forgives me for feeling like I need a break, but I know that I have to take my eyes off myself and fix them on what is eternal... JESUS...
and that's all there is to it.
I am blessed.

" Daddy can you fix this???"

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law,  to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.  Because you are his sons ( and daughters ) God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.

Galatians 4:4-6

had to read the first verse of this passage for my quiet time today... looking into the Old Testament prophecies about the Messiah that came true when Jesus was born.. and then I read on.. and there it was.. 

something my Daddy in Heaven has been whispering into my ear for the last few days..

you see I am struggling.

something has happened and this girl here has been struggling not to be full of fear and anxiety.

scriptures are great.

365 fear nots in the Bible..

one for every day.. so one can be sure that this is something that God really wants us to get.

surrendering to whatever God's will will be in the situation, another step to take..

but then, just a few days ago.. there was this:

I am your Daddy.. 

ha... not sure what that means..

see, I didn't have that.. 

I was not "Daddy's little girl"

I was not the little princess

I was scared

I was neglected

and I never felt safe or secure or loved or treasured or any of those things

so.. I have read it

I know it

I have met Him in many ways, and yes, even as my loving Father over the years

I know I can come to Him with anything 

I know He delights over me with singing

I know He cares like no one else

but my Daddy..

all of a sudden I felt I could pray just this:

Can you fix this for me Daddy???

so, reading on in Galatians 4.. 

the Spirit of His son is in my heart ( knew that )

I am now an heir with Christ

I can call out, the Spirit in me calls out

Abba Father..

My Daddy..

I tried to listen inside and feel what that might mean..

he loves me

he keeps me safe

he enjoys my company

he is excited about me

he encourages me

he spurs me on

he cherishes me

he comforts me

he watches over me

he defends me

he thinks I am fun

and cute

and special

HA

 so, He has my back..

I can rely on Him

I can trust Him

I can give Him all my fears and sorrows 

I am not alone

I am not helpless and hopeless

I am a princess

I am the daughter of the King of kings

I am His little girl..

Daddy's little girl..

so thankful for His WORD..

it never disappoints.

He never disappoints 

I love Him

..it's just not about me...

it's been a while and I have to admit that I just don't feel the urge to write it all down for everyone to see anymore..

then someone told me that I should... so here I am.

Thanksgiving here in the good old US of America last week, all the devotions and everything being all about  being thankful and how focusing on what we are thankful for allows the presence of God to permeate our whole being and our circumstances..

to give thanks in all circumstances, a discipline I have embraced long ago.
it seems to help to allow the peace of God that transcends all those circumstances and our understanding to flow more freely..

so.. last week, after a week of having been gripped by such a fear and anxiety about something that happened that I so DID NOT WANT to happen, something that I had told everyone was my worst nightmare.. after being able to help out at a thanksgiving dinner for 1500 people from the community on the Wednesday night and continuing on reflecting on the truth.. the scriptures given to me by faithful sisters in Christ ... sitting quietly with my husband on Saturday afternoon, admiring our Christmas tree and listening to Christmas music as he was holding me... it sank in... again...

it's just not about me. my circumstances. my fear.
the outcome is in God's hand and I can trust Him. in quietness and trust is my strength. in repentance and rest is my salvation. He rises up to help me because He longs to be gracious and compassionate to me. He hears me and He takes care of me.
it's about what my purpose really is. and that is to serve Him. be passionate about Him and His cause.
to be available. to share the Good News. to bring glory to Him.

the scripture given to me, Isaiah 30: 15-21 says this as well...

The Lord longs to be gracious to you;

    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

    Blessed are all who wait for him!

 People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

wanting to only turn right or left when He tells me I have been crying out for help, knowing He hears me.. waiting on Him to direct my steps.. listening closely and waiting. trusting. at peace.

when fear wants to creep in.. I take the thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.. no need to fear..

He got it all figured out.

letting go of my plans and ideas.. surrendering to whatever the outcome will be, feeling safe, I am focusing on where He wants me to go. the next step. today. not tomorrow. not the next 20 steps. just one.

in the end. I know I cannot lose what He has given me already.. which is him paying for my sins so that I am a child of God. eternity with Him. so. I am thankful. He owes me nothing I owe Him everything.