..a whisper .. greater struggle and distress...

I cried out to God for help;

    I cried out to God to hear me.

 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

    at night I stretched out untiring hands,

    and I would not be comforted.

 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;

    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.

 You kept my eyes from closing;

    I was too troubled to speak.

Psalm 77: 1-4

it is during a time of greater struggle and discouragement that I have now for the second time in just a few days heard the Lord telling me something new…
through His calling to open a Pregnancy Center more than 3 years ago, I, a tremendously sheltered and spoiled woman in regards to a stable home and upbringing and lifestyle, my eyes have gradually been opened to the dire need so many people struggle with day in and day out.
thanks to the Lord, and only because of Him my heart is full of compassion and love for those with no home, no one to love and care and nurture them, for those that, like it seems, never had a chance.

heard Him whisper something into my ear about a shelter for young women and girls, a home, not a big place… a shelter for some to find help and direction and most of all the Hope that has been mine for almost 20 years.. the assurance that through what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross more than 2000 years ago, I am, by believing,  reconciled to the Father, no longer separated and therefore able to navigate through life’s storms and hardships, learning to depend on Him more and more each day.

like 3 years ago, it is but an inkling, a faint idea… a little flame… something to nurture, protect and surrender to the Lord daily…. in time, if it is His will, He will, like He has before, bring about what it is He has in mind..

This, put into words so beautifully by the founder of the Scott Mission is what my heart is resonating with:

”Through Christ's love, we care.


We reach out to those who have been passed by.


We restore hope.


We build community.”

Isaiah 55 in it’s entirety speaks about this, so it’s  hard for me to pick a verse or two…. but these will have to do for now:

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
   

 come to the waters; 
and you who have no money,
    

come, buy and eat! 
Come, buy wine and milk
    

without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,
    

and your labor on what does not satisfy?


Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    

and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;
    

listen, that you may live.


I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
    

my faithful love promised to David.”

feeling something take over.. otherness.. it brings freedom on it’s wings.. freedom from worry, sadness  and self pity …. freedom to get excited to help others find something that has been mine for so long.. undeserved favour and love in my life.. love extended by the One who came up with it in the first place :)
Praises be to Him and Him ALONE!

....trouble and distress around me....

it's been a weird couple of weeks... if I had to use one word to describe it, I think it would have to be discouragement ...

discouraged personally, confronted with realities I cannot pretend don't exist anymore.

discouraged by what I see as I am interacting with the youth at Hope for Life, and am confronted with the dire circumstances they face..

discouraged by the world around me... seeing a society walking down a path of destruction .. happily rebellious, dismissing and slandering all that has helped it prosper for so long..

examining who I am in all of this... I am saddened and disappointed,  and the spiritual gift of discernment, as wonderful as it is... has left me seeing things very clearly, maybe too clearly...

wondering if I need to step away from all the info that is out there, so easily accessible... important too... but:  as a Christian I know that I need to fix my eyes on what is eternal and not on what is temporary... 

shut down my twitter account and stop reading the posts of those that are battling all those detrimental changes happening in our society..

truth is, what seems new and so modern and advanced today... the break down of morals and values informed by what God, our Creator, has given us as a "Manual" is not that new... sure, it looks different today... brought into our homes through the internet, into the minds of kids, through the media and all the "progressive" people out there,  this garbage is NOT NEW...

this is what the Bible says:

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.  They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.  In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.  They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,  slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;  they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.  Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Romans 1:23-32

scary, proven true in history so many times.. I am thankful that this is equally true:

You are righteous, Lord,

    and your laws are right.

The statutes you have laid down are righteous;

    they are fully trustworthy.

 My zeal wears me out,

    for my enemies ignore your words.

 Your promises have been thoroughly tested,

    and your servant loves them.

 Though I am lowly and despised,

    I do not forget your precepts.

 Your righteousness is everlasting

    and your law is true.

 Trouble and distress have come upon me,

    but your commands give me delight.

 Your statutes are always righteous;

    give me understanding that I may live.

Psalm 119:137-144

so, I do not have to be discouraged... all I have to do is this:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

holding on to truth and trusting God for each and everyone He brings my way... through Him I can do that.. one word description of where I am: Thankful!

..a life considered worthy in the eyes of God?...

so thankful for sunshine, even when the temperatures are near the freezing point..
so thankful for my time with my best friend this morning ....
went to bed sad and spent and emotionally exhausted last night, I thank the Lord for a special friend who prayed with me and for me right before turning in.... thank the Lord for Skype..
so thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that He meets me, where I am, ALWAYS..
no matter where this is...

this is what He had for me this morning, as I am following along my churches' "reading plan"....

Don’t you remember, dear brothers and sisters, how hard we worked among you? Night and day we toiled to earn a living so that we would not be a burden to any of you as we preached God’s Good News to you.  You yourselves are our witnesses—and so is God—that we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of you believers.  And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children.  We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.

1 Thessalonians 2:9-12

so thankful to know and be able to accept that leading a life that is honest and devout ( and far from faultless) in front of all believers ( and my children) means toil, striving and agonizing... it means not giving in to fear and standing firm on the truth...

so thankful for His encouragement for me today, that I am not wrong to plead, to encourage my children to live their lives in a way that God would consider worthy..

that this is what a parent, mother or father, needs to do.

so very thankful though that I do not have to be the Holy Spirit for anyone... and obviously I could never be, but that I just have to try very hard to live a life that God would consider worthy, pleasing to Him, encourage and urge those around me to live like this.. the rest is up to Him, who is able to do so much more than I could every dream up......

holding on to this, for strength and encouragement...

a new day, new drama, new hurts and difficulties.. a life of labor and toil... yet so blessed, so blessed in the arms of my Daddy, I can face it.. today, tomorrow and until He finally takes me home with Him!!