.....love so amazing...

so excited about Cell Group starting up again.. such a great part of the life of a disciple.. being open and authentic, holding each other accountable.. sharing how the Lord is speaking to us, praying for one another..

I am so excited that I have started reading the first passage of 2 Corinthians already, the book we will be working through.as of next week.. :)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,   who comforts us  in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.   For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ,  so also our comfort abounds through Christ.   If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation;  if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.   And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings,  so also you share in our comfort.  ( 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 )

wow.. and there we are again... there is not a single word in His Word that is not meaningful and has deep impact.. is relevant and gives us strength, wisdom and builds us up..

He is the God of Compassion and Comfort, and that He is.. He has comforted me so many times, and in turn I have been able to comfort those around me.. He has compassion on me and I have compassion for others..

through going through sufferings I get to share in His.. through that I do know Him even more.. appreciate what He has done, because let's face it. He willingly suffered for me, because He loves me.. He could have stayed in Heaven with His Father, but He came to live a sinless life to give Himself as a Sacrifice... for MY sins...

and then, to top it all off, He is always ready to comfort..
I love Him..

had the opportunity to hear a loved one talk about the answers he has found in some "religion" "way of looking at things"... principles sound similar, and for sure, there will be some good stuff coming from it.. ultimately it will not work, forgiveness extended without having understood the full extent of his own sinfulness and his need for a Saviour, experiencing the Lord's forgiveness and His amazing love, and therefore  getting the "Power of the Holy Spirit" to forgive like this .. it will not work..
not arguing with him, since he just can't understand..
the difference is not in the principles, (even though some  are  indeed different), the real difference is the RELATIONSHIP with the Risen Christ.. the gratitude that overwhelms my heart every given second for what He has done for me... His Spirit in me, allowing me to live out the principles, not out of my own strength so that I cannot boast.. but through what He is doing in me..

there is nothing like it... my prayer for him and all those that have not encountered Jesus, the Lover of my Soul is that their eyes would be opened, their ears unstopped and that their hearts instead would grow ears... so that they could hear Him... the Saviour, the God of all Compassion and Comfort .. who chose to suffer .. so that I could be His.. AMAZING LOVE!!!!

.. the locusts came and ate everything???

have been thinking a lot lately of the concept of God "restoring the years the locusts have eaten"...

have talked about it, have heard it used in different scenarios..

in someone almost demanding this restoration from God as something he is entitled to...

mainly though in regards to something bad done to a person and the resulting loss being restored by God...

claimed as a promise, giving hope..

I have read the passage before, but I didn't recall the context, and because I do not want to use the Word in the wrong way.. it happens far too often already, and I will have no part of it if I can help it.. I read the Book of Joel, and there I saw it.. we are kind of using this verse in the wrong way...

truth is that God did restore the years the locusts had eaten... but only after his people repented, turned to Him 

the locusts that came, swarming the land, bringing total destruction of vegetation by invasions repeated over a period of more than one year ...there was famine on every hand, even seeds were  destroyed, storehouses  were emptied,  there was no food for man or beast or wild animals. the water supply had dried up in drought. 

the people of Israel did take such destruction as punishment from God, understanding it as His wrath poured out on them..

so Joel, heard from the Lord and he called the people to repent... 

Even now,” declares the Lord,

    “return to me with all your heart,

    with fasting and weeping and mourning...

Rend your heart

    and not your garments.

Return to the Lord your God,

    for he is gracious and compassionate,

slow to anger and abounding in love,

    and he relents from sending calamity.

 Who knows? He may turn and relent

    and leave behind a blessing—

grain offerings and drink offerings

    for the Lord your God.

it goes on to say:

Then the Lord was jealous for his land

    and took pity on his people.

and this is what He did :

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—

    the great locust and the young locust,

    the other locusts and the locust swarm—

my great army that I sent among you.

 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full...

and this is why He did it:

 
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,

    who has worked wonders for you;

never again will my people be shamed.

 Then you will know that I am in Israel,

    that I am the Lord your God,

    and that there is no other;

never again will my people be shamed.

so.. we definitely can find a promise here... but also a warning..

let's not turn away from the Lord, let's not start worshipping idols... 

let us remember the Lord our God, and the great things He has done..

has He not already given us all we will ever need? did we not "not deserve it at all".. so let us not feel entitlement, just because calamity has been part of our lives..

He owes us nothing.. I choose to praise Him and serve Him no matter what..

He has repaid what the locusts have eaten the moment He saved me from the bottom of the pit..when I was still dead in my transgressions..

my storehouses are filled to overflowing with the love and the grace He has bestowed on me..

I will indeed forever praise Him...

... they were harassed and helpless...

where do you find yourself today?
do you have a place to stay, a place you can call your own?
do you have a circle of people that you know beyond a shadow of doubt love you?
do you have food and know that you will be able to eat every day ?
do you have the clothes you need, and maybe even really like?

most of us do.. and yet.. there are so many that don't...
moving in and out of shelters, losing all your belongings through unstable circumstances,
no one, or maybe only one or two people that seem to be on your side.. and you are not sure if you can trust them .. poor choices .. circumstances beyond your control.. things done to you early on in life...
a cycle it seems that cannot be broken...

how often do we, the "lucky" ones think of those that for some reason ended up "on the other side of the tracks" let alone step out of our comfort zone to help in a tangible, relevant way?

a compassionate heart..
we all like to think we have one..

this is what we find out about God, when we seek Him:


But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)


The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
 The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me. (Psalm 116:5-6)


Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

And here is what Jesus did:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (Matthew 9:36)

Paul is challenging the Ephesians:
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you
(Ephesians 4:31-32)

Disciples of Christ, proclaiming Him and worshipping Him, we are called to serve Him and to walk in His footsteps, made in the image of God we are called to represent Him well in this world..

let's show them who our God really is, a God compassionate and slow to anger.. a God who had such compassion on His people He even sent His only son to rescue them from certain destruction and eternal suffering...
extending His love and compassion is one of the biggest gift we can give to the less fortunate..
let's not forget, you are finding yourself where you are today because of His Grace and Mercy alone..
Praise be to Him now and forever more...

..never a dull moment.. PTL...

I know that I should really turn off the lights right now, and I am very tired, I really am, I just need to try to process this day.... okay.. so here we go:

there is just absolutely no dull moment ever when walking with this amazing Saviour of mine..
I know I am overly excitable, but, He is so exciting.. how can one not be excited is what I am wondering..

and.. the excitement is not always only about good things.. actually to see Him at work in the bad stuff and work things out is REALLY exciting..

drama and heartache, depression and disappointment, conflict and despair.. and there He is.. never letting those down that trust in Him.. it is just so against His nature..

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
(Matthew 11:27-29)

rest for our souls.. He indeed is gentle and humble in heart.. gentle and humble.. rest for the soul... because... He knows the plans He has for you and me.. plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future... ( Jeremiah 29:11)

the baby Christian and the old and weathered one alike... learning to trust Him and surrender to Him.. giving all our burdens to Him.. and He will bless our socks off...

really cautious, but even better that way..  I am experiencing His provision, His care and His gentle love.. His tenderness and His consideration and attention... my cup overflows.. His love seeps through my cracks, broken vessel that I am.. flowing from Him through me to others.. can't help but love with all my heart, soul and mind.. Him first and then all those He has brought into my life..

May y'all know Him, His love and His faithfulness.. and may we all never stop bringing glory to Him.. the Lover of our souls, the Redeemer and King.. Jesus... the One and Only <3

.. celebration in Heaven.. a soul was saved today!!!

wow.. not quite sure where to begin...so much going on... great stuff..
the trip to Holland, Michigan was all I hoped it would be and more.. lot's of laughter and deep conversation.. the sunshine, the beach and the lighthouse and the windmill and all of it, the Bed and Breakfast and the food and the fun, and the shopping... the comfort of friendships "tried and true" a safe place to be who we are.. sisters in Christ, friends for eternity :) taking it all in and feeling so very blessed.. God is good!

coming home to a Potluck Dinner for Hope for Life.. sharing our stories and connecting.. a common cause, a common calling, love for one another and excitement.. God is good!

then, today... confirmed with my "first client" that she was still up to going to church together.. had gotten her a Bible at the nice Christian bookstore in Holland...

off to Orangeville I went, to meet with her in front of this church, a wonderful place where Christ's truth and His love are being communicated.. the worship, touching and real, meaningful, praises lifted to the God on High.. the message, couldn't have been more fitting.. the Gospel, amazingly well laid out and explained.. emotions welling up in my young friend.. the one the Lord brought to us in January, so helpless and lost.. accepting Christ as her personal Saviour today... tears and celebration in Heaven, a prodigal daughter returned to her Father and reconciled to Him by what His Son, Jesus Christ has done.. hope for healing and restoration.. a plan to prosper and not to harm, a plan to give her a future and a hope..

connections made to wonderful people the Lord put into our path today.. He blows my mind with the way the smallest little detail is perfectly arranged when the time is right..
an excited young girl reading in her Bible.. oh how wonderful to be used by Him to lead a lost one to Him..

later family pictures by the lakefront.. can't wait to see how they turn out.. spending some fun time with another sister in Christ..

exhausted now, but elated, still on a high..  tomorrow: a new day, 7 am work out and "Hope for Life" all day.. hooked for life, that's what it is.. hooked for eternity to praise and worship and serve..

Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
    worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

Psalm 29: 1+2

..restoring the years the locusts have eaten...

do you have early childhood memories? .. I don't have that many and sometimes I think I am remembering something when really it is the pictures I have seen from way back when..

heading to Holland, Michigan tomorrow...  a place I feel God has shown me to touch a place in my soul, to restore in me a deep feeling of security... the feeling I have lost along the way, only to find it again in my relationship with Jesus Christ, my Saviour and friend..

I have seen pictures of our summer vacations when I was 3, 4 and 5 years old.. and, I have memories of walking on little brick walls, along sidewalks, balancing.. I remember a light blue big sweater, and rain boots... summer vacation in Nordwijk, Netherlands.. I remember colourful sugar sprinkles on toast for breakfast and Herring on a bun... ( not for breakfast.. duh )

I remember riding in little bumper cars at the Boulevard... the market place...
my fondest and most important memory though is walking to the beach... with a wagon made out of wood, filled with all our toys, towels and all the rest of the stuff a family with 3 little children would need... walking on a pathway built with some kind of brick-like patio stones ( sorry, but I just don't know the right English word ) ... the path leading through the sand dunes of the coast of the Northern Sea... coming closer to the beach more and more sand would be on that pathway.. eventually we would stop and take our shoes off... that meant that we were almost there...
the wind and the smell of the sea and the sand under my feet has been burnt into my soul never to be forgotten... feelings of joy, happiness and excitement are eternally attached to these scents and textures and sights..

the Atlantic coast here in North America used to be what would remind me the most of this and I felt such a need to go there, at least every 2 years..

through some plan of my Father in Heaven I found out about the East Coast of Lake Michigan... seeing the pictures of the beaches and sand dunes made my soul jump for joy... there it was, my "Eden" of my early childhood, only about 5 hours away from home, and I never knew about it...

so tomorrow, I am embarking on a journey to recapture some of that giddiness and pure bliss... long before I learned about parents fighting and father's letting children down, long before I felt the pain inflicted by thoughtless people, cruel and selfish people, early childhood...mine was sheltered and filled with love and excitement...

going on a road trip down memory lane... I am going to reflect on how blessed I am to have such memories, I am going to share them with two very special companions... and I am going to enjoy the feeling of the sand on my feet, the smell of the sea and I will take it all in... the beauty of God's Creation... maybe there will even be a Dutch store that has those sugar sprinkles.. :)

...immeasurably more than we can imagine..

put up 2 Facebook Ads and had a great response.. our website has been viewed 121 times in the last 5 days.. I am sure it helped that wonderfully faithful people have been giving out bags with water bottles and some info about the church including our brochure during the Fall Fair weekend...

do you know the feeling when you know something is about to happen???? like right before that torrential downpour... there is such anticipation...
this is what we are feeling here at Hope for Life... something is going to happen...something BIG!!!

since opening October 17, 2011 we have had a steady flow of clients...quite blessed by the way the Lord has timed and managed this for us... not too overwhelming ... just a "little bit" overwhelming at times to keep us on our knees...

with 12 Volunteers covering every time slot during the 3 and a half days we are open, we are READY...  available and prepared..
poised with hearts open.. eyes fixed on Jesus.. to walk the path and serve Him as He has planned it before time began.... BLOWS my mind..

so maybe we can engage with our clients a little differently than a "Stand Alone" Center could... maybe, since I am working as the leader of a Church ministry I do what I did when leading another Church ministry... I feel I am free to invest and give of myself outside the times of operation..
meeting with our very first client last night, the first one to come here for a Pregnancy Test, when we just had opened, so obviously, hopelessly alone back then, having maintained contact and "walked" with her on her tumultuous journey all around Ontario over the last 9 months.. she told me a few days ago she wants to go to church... ha..
so I will make the 50 km trek again next Sunday, this time in the morning, to go with her, to support her  to be the one to lean on, be by her side as she takes a step of faith..
I AM SO VERY BLESSED!!!!!

who but the Lord God Almighty could have orchestrated every little detail of her life, my life, the churches' life, this ministry's life in such a way that the outcome would be a young, lost soul crying out for Him... from totally alone and hopeless to reaching out and asking : "could you come with me? I am too scared to go alone, but I know I need to, want to." .... absolutely YES!!!!!! what a privilege..

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
( Ephesians 3: 20-21 )

... oh the depth of the riches of the wisdom of God..

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

    How unsearchable his judgments,

    and his paths beyond tracing out!

 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?

    Or who has been his counsellor?"

Romans 11:32-34

I know that you can do all things;

    no purpose of yours can be thwarted

Job 42:2

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Romans: 8:3132

so thankful that God is so not like me... that His thoughts are NOT my thoughts and His ways are not mine... oh, even though I love my kids VERY much... I do not have the patience that God, my Father has for me, His child..

knowing better and yet struggling to trust Him..

knowing that one day I would be able to look back and understand what I couldn't before..

that He has my best interest in mind, always..

knowing that and yet fretting about when and how this plan of His was going to be worked out..

having a certain idea and not able to comprehend the vast knowledge and wisdom,  not knowing the past and the future like He does, I was anxious..

I am sure I will be again... I pray I will get better at it... hate to disappoint Him so...  test His patience, and I know it is endless... I know He will never love me more than He loves me today and loved me yesterday or  will any day in the future.. because His love is without end.. bigger than I will ever be able to comprehend...

I am sorry Lord.. I hope I didn't make you sad... I love you and only want to please you and make you smile..

thank you for showing me again how you are showering me with more than I could ever ask for .....

the attention to detail, out of your love for me,  it blows me away.. I shall forever sing your praises!!!!

...Jesus.. a Marketing Project??????

remember many years ago my brother saying something like he could relate better to the God of the Jews, the Old Testament.. in his opinion Jesus was nothing but a good marketing project the church was using...
told him he should maybe read the Old Testament, and see what God did to the people of Israel when they disobeyed Him, and how thankful I was that Jesus paid for my sins, past, present and future...


this is what I have been reading..

Lamentations 3:37-59

Who can speak and have it happen

    if the Lord has not decreed it?

 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High

    that both calamities and good things come?

 Why should the living complain

    when punished for their sins?

 Let us examine our ways and test them,

    and let us return to the Lord.

 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands

    to God in heaven, and say:

 “We have sinned and rebelled

    and you have not forgiven.

 “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;

    you have slain without pity.

 You have covered yourself with a cloud

    so that no prayer can get through.

 You have made us scum and refuse

    among the nations.

 “All our enemies have opened their mouths

    wide against us.

 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,

    ruin and destruction.”

 Streams of tears flow from my eyes

    because my people are destroyed.

 My eyes will flow unceasingly,

    without relief,

 until the Lord looks down

    from heaven and sees.

 What I see brings grief to my soul

    because of all the women of my city.

 Those who were my enemies without cause

    hunted me like a bird.

 They tried to end my life in a pit

    and threw stones at me;

 the waters closed over my head,

    and I thought I was about to perish.

 I called on your name, Lord,

    from the depths of the pit.

 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears

    to my cry for relief.”

 You came near when I called you,

    and you said, “Do not fear.”

 You, Lord, took up my case;

    you redeemed my life.

 Lord, you have seen the wrong done to me.

    Uphold my cause!

Thankful that the Lord, my Jesus, took all the grief and punishment for my sins.. that all it takes for me to be right with Him is to confess and repent.. His compassion and unfailing love are mine every morning... forgive me Lord for doubting you and not trusting you...

Verse 22-26 of Lamentations 3 say this:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

 They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

    to the one who seeks him;

 it is good to wait quietly

    for the salvation of the Lord.

Thankful that God Almighty's plan included Jesus, included sacrificing Him as the perfect lamb, to pay for my sins once and for all.. Marketing Project? Divine Grace, Redemption and Reconciliation is more like it I would say...     #SoliDeoGloria

..my hope is in you all day long.....

I am not sure anymore how long ago it was, I was still married that was before I even found out that my husband was cheating on me, I had shared with a very close friend that I felt utterly hopeless in re. to my marriage..
I told her that I was full of hope for everything else, believed very much that God was more than capable to do anything He would ever want to do, but I just had no hope for my marriage to work any better.. I had prayed for so many years, studied the scriptures, went to counselling, alone and together, tried to change whatever it was about me, that needed changing.. as good as I could I guess..

amazing friend that she is she sent me a letter later that day sharing with me a study of the word hope in the scriptures..

 struggling with hopelessness  / fear again, in regards to a future relationship it dawned on me...

I had followed the insight and practical steps I gleaned from that study of hope in the scriptures... I memorized scriptures, meditated on God's faithfulness in my life..God then did marvellous things in  me, changed my heart and taught me how to love His way.. and yet.. in the end there was no hope for my marriage after all..

I learned that my hope is in Christ, not in what my wishes and dreams are .. my ideas and hopes that are dependent on someone else..
when it was obvious there was no hope anymore for my marriage to continue, despite my willingness to forgive and try again, I experienced first hand what it means if your hope solely is in Christ.. like when someone has died of cancer and that's it.. you can't hope for healing anymore.. it is over... when you fall into the pit of a hurt that is so overwhelming it seems you are drowning in it..
and wow, did Jesus come through for me... so it was true, putting my hope in Him I was rewarded with a closeness and a delight in Him like never before.. wonderful, priceless...

and yet.. what dawned on me, is, that what I had hoped for, for our marriage to survive for the sake of my children and myself and my husband.. did not come true..
so is it surprising I am fearful?
I know that my hope is in Him, and that He will never let me down... but, I am a human being and I so long to love again and to be cherished and valued for once by a man of flesh and blood... to be able to spend meaningful time together, serving God.. praying together and praising and worshipping God...

okay, I know,  I am ungrateful... have I not been given everything anyone could ever ask for.. is it wrong to long for love  and struggle with loneliness? is it wrong to wish for someone to be there for me when dealing with the hard stuff?
am I serving Him while I am waiting? yes I am...  so God.. have mercy on me... please???

clinging to those....but rather to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ( 1 Timothy 6:17 )
God is not unjust, He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.  ( Hebrews 6:10 )

... a little burning ember in my weary soul..

Labor Day, the end of Summer.. the beginning of the new school year... a lazy day for me.. finished watching the last two episodes of Castle's Season 4.. ready for Season 5 to begin.. :)

 thinking about the kids growing up, so obvious when they are still in school.. truth is each day that goes by grows us up a little bit.. we become wiser, more like Him... hopefully..

drama happening a few days ago.. dealing with it so differently now.. thanks be to the Lord for that... have been listening to this song from Audrey Assad over the last few days.. it's tune so fragile and whimsical, sweet and a little sad.. so fitting... 

it's called SLOW

( these are just a few lines that speak to me the most)

I heard that faith moves mountains

I know it moves my feet

To follow you

And maybe I'm a mountain

Because it's moving me

To follow you

My faith is not a fire

As much as it's a glow

A little burning ember

In my weary soul

And it's not too much

It's just enough to give me hope

Because your love moves slow

Yeah, your love moves slow

So I move slow

Because you move slow

Love moves slow

Let's move slow.

I know that He is moving my feet, my heart.. that He is such a loving friend, a merciful, considerate and selfless Father... He warms my weary soul and heart.... He ministers not only to me but my fragile and yet so feisty little girl.. oh, I want to sing His praises all day long.. thanking Him for being who He is.. for the refuge He is..

so my faith is a FIRE... as much as it is a little burning ember that slowly warms my fragile, broken heart.. the FIRE is what moves me forward, is what makes me a determined soldier.. giving my all to His cause.. LOVING with all I have and all I am.. a consuming fire this is.. quite exhilarating..

praying  / communing with Him constantly... my first thought in the morning.. praising Him, telling Him I love Him... so, so much... seeking Him in His Word... getting so close.. the heartbeat of His is part of my life as much as mine is.. a blessing beyond anything ever imagined..

the drama we faced.. all it did was confirm this truth to me:

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

    whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

    of whom shall I be afraid?

....

though war break out against me,

    even then I will be confident.

 One thing I ask from the Lord,

    this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

    all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

    and to seek him in his temple.

 For in the day of trouble

    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent

    and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted

    above the enemies who surround me;

at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;

    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;

    be merciful to me and answer me.

 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

    Your face, Lord, I will seek.

 Do not hide your face from me,

    do not turn your servant away in anger;

    you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

    God my Savior.

 Though my father and mother forsake me,

    the Lord will receive me.

 Teach me your way, Lord;

    lead me in a straight path

    because of my oppressors.

 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,

    for false witnesses rise up against me,

    spouting malicious accusations.

 I remain confident of this:

    I will see the goodness of the Lord

    in the land of the living.

 Wait for the Lord;

    be strong and take heart

    and wait for the Lord.

Praising Him, all the days of my life... as the little burning ember glows and warms my soul.... how sweet and tender, this Lover of my Soul..